[DelusionsDaily]

Hi all,
I took a break from T for a while because I wasn't sure what to talk about anymore. I had decided that when I go back I would find a new T. Well, I don't have the emotional energy to find a new T...especially after Easter Sunday. I have felt so low, dirty, and repulsive since I saw her again. I feel like I have to avoid my parents church on the holidays just so I don't have to see her but its not fair to my parents.

This woman is 20 years older than me and knows not to come near me because I'm afraid of what I'd do to her if she did. So I messages her on FB yelling at her to stay away from me and she has but it doesn't stop all the memories from flooding when I see her. When I was 18 she r***d me. I thought she was someone I could trust at the time and I did because my parents and I weren't getting along. The memories typically settle and I don't ever talk about it but they aren't settling at all. I'm afraid of going into therapy for THIS, but I don't know if I can handle it by myself anymore. Should I just call my old T and see if we can work something out again? Or do I try to drudge up the energy to find a new T? I really trust my old T and not sure I could walk into any office and bring this up right away. I don't know what to do maybe I'll just give it some more time.

Melissa, if you trust your old T, maybe it would be good to just try for now with him or her. When I have something I know I need to work on, I sometimes write it down and hand it to you, although lately, he has said it is okay to email him things. Can you write or email your old T?

[Victoria'smom]

Depending on why you left old T (I'm sorry I forget why) I would go back to her.