[JFB1962]

How do/did you address your T?...My old T I called her by her first name, but I don't want to do that with my new T...
Thanks JFB

[ErinBear]

Hi JFB,

I ask the therapist what they would like to be called. My last counselor wished to be called by his first name. I've only had one therapist who wished to be called by a professional title (Dr.). But whatever name they would like to use, I use. I guess if they suggest using a first name, and that feels uncomfortable for you....talk with them about that, and see if it is okay to use a different form of address (Mr. Smith, Ms. Jones, or whatever feels okay with you). I imagine they would talk with you about it and try to come up with a solution so you would feel comfortable.

Take care,
ErinBear

[(JD)]

While what you are asked to call your T might be more informal than you wish, calling them Dr. or Ms or whatever title is always correct and acceptable. In my own life, I know my T allows everyone to call him by his first name...I could never do that..no... I call him Dr.... and he's fine with that.

[JFB1962]

Thanks for the replies...I'll ask her if it's ok if I address her as Mrs. or Ms...JFB

[dalila]

<font color="green">I have always called mine Dr. K cos it sets a professional distance between us. I really like her and we seem to have hit it off from the first time we met. So I use a professional title to keep us on that footing so we can do the work I am there to do. </font>

I have alkways called mine by their first names. basically how I do it is I ask for an appoinment card and if the therapist is not a private practice they have always wrote their names on the appoinment card for example the appointment card says - date and time of next appointment with... and my therapist writes in august 1 2:00 and jane or jane doe. if they write just Jane - thier first name on the card I know that its ok to call them by their first name.

[pegasus]

My T gets called all sorts of names!!!!!

[Hopefull]

I chickened out of asking the psychologist in college. He probably preferred Dr. because I don't even remember a first name. My previous T never really told me her preference. So, I pretty much never really used her name. I find that I don't tend to use a name when speaking with only one other person. My new T told me to call her by her first name. I think of the previous T and new T by first name. However, I really haven't ever used it. I'd probably feel a little funny using it. Well, I did write her name on a drawing that I drew to share with her and it was her first name. So, I guess I have used her first name once.

[JustBen]

This is a really interesting discussion. I just called mine by his first name because that's how he introduced himself.

[JFB1962]

Yeah my ex T got called a few choice names too!...

This is my opinion on the subject...I don't call my family doc by her first name, or my vet etc...I don't feel it would be appropriate for me to call my T by her first name...

I did my old T but she is also being investigated for crossing boundaries with me...(She has admitted to doing so)
I decided this new T would stay completely pro and be addressed accordingly...JFB

[JustBen]

I can see where you're coming from, especially if you had boundaries issues with your previous therapist.

[(JD)]

...thank heavens psychiatrists are a shrinking breed lol

[Merlin]

I call my T by her first name, when I call her by name, i.e. phone calls. I call my pdoc by Dr and his last name. In both cases it seems a little weird though. Partailly, with my pdoc at least, because my T and my mom call him by his first name. My T and pdoc work out of the same office and my mom went to med school with my pdoc. I'm not sure why I find it weird to call my T by her first name... maybe too informal. I guess I'm not happy with either.

[LMo]

I call mine by Dr. so-and-so. She always refers to herself by her first name when she calls me by phone, but as she hasn't corrected me, I wouldn't take the liberty of changing to her first name on my own.

[LMo]

I was just thinking -- my H and I were on vacation earlier this year and got together for dinner with my old T, who now lives in Hawaii. He's still Dr. so-and-so for me, but he also refers to himself by his first name in email and by phone.

old habits die hard, I guess.

[JustBen]

I think people are much more likely to accept doctor than mister or miss. I've known several therapists and professors who went from first-name to Doctor so-and-so after getting their doctorate. It's like one day they're Mike Jones, and the next day they're Dr. Jones--but at no point did they want anyone calling them Mr. Jones.

[pegasus]

From day one, my T asked me to call him by his first name. At the time I had trouble with this because I looked on him as a GREAT GOD!

After 4 years of therapy, we are more relaxed, I can call him by his first name, Dr. Mr. and sometimes I just call him T.

During therapy I have found he doesn't mind what I call him. Whether it's nice or nasty, ie - "You are a (insert favorite word here)"

The point of therapy being able to use all the emotions.

Anyway, I just feel that over time and with gaining trust a client will be able to address T with confidence however they wish.

[jammerlich]

I call my T by her first name. She's not a "Dr;" but I'm not sure it would make any difference to me if she were. She addresses me by my first name and I see no reason why I shouldn't do the same.

[jbug]

I call my T by his first name. I call my pdoc Dr. Farrow but call my gp by his first name at his request. It could be that he's a family friend and at first it was wierd not to call him Dr. but its easier now.

Jbug