something I'm concerned about.

My therapist strongly encouraged me to tell my mom about my suicidal thoughts, and she said if I got worse, she'd have to tell my mom. I'm 18 years old, and yes I still live with my mother, but I'm 18. Can she really tell her things I say in therapy? If so, then there are certain (important) things I'm not gonna talk about.

I'm thinking that your T would have to tell your mom if your T thinks you should go inpatient. Are you on your moms insurance?

I am not 18 but when I told my T I was suicidal no one else new. Not even my husband. After I told my therapist I told my husband a day later because I was really scared I was going to harm myself and I would rather have my husband hear the words from me and not my T. Because my husband new and has a home office I was able to avoid going inpatient and enrolled in an outpatient treatment program instead.

Big hugs I've been where you are. If you go inpatient it's only to keep you safe and help you heal.

Yes I am on her insurance.

I understand she'd tell her if I went inpatient, and I'm okay with that. I actually told my therapist I wanted to go inpatient so she's letting me think about that. What I'm asking is will she tell my mother specific things that I say in therapy. Like will she tell her why I'm suicidal, or will she tell her that I cut myself, or about my relationship issues, etc.

The therapist can break confidentiality if you are a danger to yourself or others. But the therapist would not tell a bunch of unrelated stuff you have shared with her in therapy, such as working on relationships with friends, grieving a friend's death, or whatever things you work on. The break in confidentiality would be related to the danger to self/suicide risk.

I agree with SUNRISE. I'd also suggest talking about this specifically with your therapist. Some therapists draw the line in different places. Some might see any cutting as a danger. Others might see it as no risk or serious harm so won't report it. some might see an abusive b/f as a danger, others not since there have been no life-threatening injuries.

therapist can break confidentiality if you are a danger to yourself- so suicide and i believe cutting would fall under this category; however, your reasons for doing so, wanting to, the things you discussed in therapy should remain confidential. since you are at this juncture with your t and it is important trust issue, i would discuss with her the limits of confidentiality and what you are comfortable with her revealing to your mother.

I think you and your therapist need to talk about this, about boundaries and confidentiality as well as the difference between thoughts and plans.

Hey,

I'm sorry you are feeling very down right now. I hope things get better soon.

Most therapists are obligated to inform someone if they feel their clients are a danger to themselves or others. Serious suicidal thoughts/urges or serious self-harming often fall under this category. Did you sign any agreement when you started with your therapist? All of the doctors I have seen had me sign something, and it was always stated clearly in that when they would have to break confidentiality.

As far as I know though, that is the ONLY thing your therapist can divulge. I think they can tell someone that you are in danger, but they can't talk about why or about anything else you said in therapy.

I would, as others have said, encourage you to ask your therapist about this directly. They will tell you what their obligations are. I would also suggest NOT keeping things from your therapist because you are afraid they will tell someone. Therapy works best if you are open and honest, and hiding important things will only end up hurting you.

Sending hugs and support!

Ness

I guess it boils down to who's paying for your therapy. If your mother is and you're living with your mother, etc. then I would think there will be some conference between a therapist and your mother, since your mother will want to know if she's "getting her money's worth" with the therapist. Too, think how both would feel if you were to harm yourself and your therapist had not warned your mother; your mother would not only fire your therapist, she'd probably sue; if you are a threat to yourself or others, your therapist has to report you, in any event; you want her to tell the police instead? It would be much better if you got on the same page with your mother, discussed the subject with her so she is not "surprised" and/or you feeling betrayed; if you discuss with your mother, your therapist will not, and things will stay in your favor. You gain nothing by sulking and not discussing things with your mother/therapist. You have to learn to live with your mother long-term (I'm not talking about physically, but she'll probably be around in your life for the next 40-70+ years) so you might as well start now, just talking with her.

I don't want to tell my mother and I shouldn't have to and I'm not going to. She already knows I'm depressed. Why should I tell her anything else. It's my business.

It is your business unless you become a danger to yourself or others. At that point, your therapist will be legally bound to break confidentiality and speak to someone, preferable your parent.

When I have been in this situation, my T or pdoc did not give specifics about my therapy at all to my husband, but more spoke about necessity to admit me, or if I wasn't quite to that point or something was going to delay hospital admission for me, they talked to my husband about precautions, etc. in the meantime.

If you refuse to all your T to speak to a parent and he feels you are in danger, he can have you involuntarily admitted (which I would really advise you to avoid; it is so much easier if you go through that process voluntarily). Of course, at that point your mom will know anyway since you are on her insurance.

Consider speaking to your mom about these thoughts, preferably in the presence of your therapist who can help moderate the discussion. Even if you are not in imminent danger now, it will give you an immediate someone right there in your home that you can go to if you reach that point, who will have a bit of prior warning about the situation. That way it won't come as a shock if she should need to help you get to the hospital; she'll perhaps have some time to get her mind wrapped around this a bit.

Completely false. She is an adult and the therapist can't share information for a parent's peace of mind.

I had to go into treatment 12yrs ago and I first had my friend come with me to T then had her come with me and my parents so I had her and T to lean on if things went south.

With my current T, she knew I was sui from the first session. She told me she wanted to have me admitted but as long as my H was home with me she was fine with letting me go home. I have kept my sui feelings from her for a long time and just recently told her again. We have discussed it and the fact that I don't have a plan has helped. It's taken me a very long time to get to the point of trusting her with this "secret"

Are you close to your mom? Are you on medication? How often are you in therapy? Do you harm yourself?

I think their are many factors that come into play. I was sui and went off my meds, my H and I were having a hard time and I use to SI. That was very concerning to her and I had to sign a no harm contract.

I hope you take some time to think about things and don't shut your T or mom out.