[bitten]

I have always been the class clown. Around my therapist, it is no different. When we try to work on some of my trauma work, I mask my feelings by diversion either by smiling or lauging which changes the whole situation or looking out the window. Just when we start really delving into things, I get nervous, and there goes the laughter. I need to figure out how to keep myself from doing that. I feel as thought I am wasting her time and my money.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by bitten

I have always been the class clown. Around my therapist, it is no different. When we try to work on some of my trauma work, I mask my feelings by diversion either by smiling or lauging which changes the whole situation or looking out the window. Just when we start really delving into things, I get nervous, and there goes the laughter. I need to figure out how to keep myself from doing that. I feel as thought I am wasting her time and my money.

Obviously is a defense mechanism. I'm not a class clown but I usually laugh or wave something off as not a big deal (or I will just zone out for a bit) to keep myself from experiencing any discomfort from the negative feelings.

Have you two tried talking about it yet? Maybe you and T can work together to figure something out

[ECHOES]

Have you talked to her about this?
I ask because my T and I did talk about this recently. She was so understanding of the need to protect myself from feeling and that helps me to be able to, hopefully, respond and not react more as we go forward. Her acceptance and understanding also help me to not feel ashamed for doing it, which just compounds things. I hope to be able to be aware of it in the moment so I can also be aware of what I'm wanting to not feel.

[Perna]

I was like that and my therapist would occasionally point it out. Accept it for right now; you are aware of it and that is more than you use to be. As you work with it, the time between when you notice and when you get serious again will get shorter and shorter and eventually you will be able to short circuit the jokes and be glad of the impulse because it will be like a "flag" to tell you where to dig in and work especially hard.

Lightening the mood in bad situations is a gift too! It can help people relax in tense situations and that allows more "blood flow"to the problem when needed, refreshes. So, don't try to eliminate your urge, just learn to work with it and get your timing right, etc.

[stopdog]

I don't think a client can waste a therapist's time, only their own. I also don't think it is unusual for clients to do things such as you describe and that it is not unusual to the therapist to observe such. I think it may shift over time for you.

[ready2makenice]

I don't think you're wasting your T time. I did and sometimes still do the same thing,its a defense mechanism that some people unfortunetly use to minimize their situations. T and I joke around a lot as well and I seem to start laughing every time we get serious,its a work in progress as long as you're aware of this,you can start rewiring your brain and really deal with the pain underneath.

I hope it goes well for you

[Moodswing]

Holy Crap I thought it was only me!
I start giggling the minute I sit in the chair and spend 5 minutes laughing like a hyena! My eyes are tearing and I try to apologize. He giggles to because.....well it is funny. He has to start doing some kind of lecture on the white board to distract me. This has happened several times and I noticed a pattern. It was when I knew I was going in to do a form of exposure therapy and would have to recount childhood trauma. We do not do that now. We only kind of socially chat about work issues or some thing troubling from the week.

It is a discharge of emotion when I am overwhelmed.