Tonight she went mad for no reason! Weekend is here and no work, we had a nice weekend planned with lots to do and tonight as always she starts a fight. She always starts a fight when I have time off work.
She doesn't work.
I told t last week about what our relationship is like. She starts fights,, calls me names, leaves then two minutes later bangs the door down until I answer and acts as if nothing happened. She makes me feel like crap and puts me down all of the time.
T told me to stay away from her that she is abusive. I knew t was right but I can't walk away. Until tonight, I got so afraid of her, I don't know if I should call t, would she just say I told you so.
I feel really bad right now and I don't want to hurt myself

Call your T if you feel it would be helpful and she said you are allowed to call when you need her. I hope you will find a way to stand up for yourself in your relationship.

[rainbow8]

A good T will never say "I told you so!" She'd be compassionate and try to help you. If you feel like you need to call, do it. I'm sorry your gf started a fight. Do you know WHY she does that? Maybe she could go to T with you?

[worried0107]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Tonight she went mad for no reason! Weekend is here and no work, we had a nice weekend planned with lots to do and tonight as always she starts a fight. She always starts a fight when I have time off work.
She doesn't work.
I told t last week about what our relationship is like. She starts fights,, calls me names, leaves then two minutes later bangs the door down until I answer and acts as if nothing happened. She makes me feel like crap and puts me down all of the time.
T told me to stay away from her that she is abusive. I knew t was right but I can't walk away. Until tonight, I got so afraid of her, I don't know if I should call t, would she just say I told you so.
I feel really bad right now and I don't want to hurt myself

I go through the same thing with my husband almost every weekend too and anytime we plan something with my family. It's a bipolar disorder. Try to understand that its not her but the disease. When she starts a fight give her time to blow off steam and when she calms down, talk to her. It is very difficult to do cause its hard to hear the things my husband says to me, it hurts big time, but when he calms down he is approachable and apologizes. I get angry at the disease not him. He always tells me that he never means to say the things he does and he always reminds me its the disease and that he loves me. Hope this helps.

[ultramar]

I think (I could be wrong, but I think under a different name) you have previously posted about your girlfriend and received a lot of feedback here about how abusive she is. I'm very sorry this is the situation. But it seems that now, as then, you're not going to leave. So I'm not sure what to tell you.

I don't think your or most any therapist would respond with "I told you so." But is there any response from her that might help you to reconsider this relationship?

Regardless of the eventual outcome, I am glad that she brought it up and you are talking about it. At least getting to the root of why you're in this relationship, why you want to stay despite her behavior, is a good place to start and I suspect you'll be talking about these things. I think -again, regardless of whether you continue with the girlfriend or not- discussing this in-depth, your emotions surrounding the matter, could be very beneficial to you. Best of luck!

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Call your T if you feel it would be helpful and she said you are allowed to call when you need her. I hope you will find a way to stand up for yourself in your relationship.

Thanks Readytostop, this is the main reason why I came to therapy in first place was standing up for myself and nearly three years later I am in another abusive relationship, if I don't stand up for myself now I never will.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

A good T will never say "I told you so!" She'd be compassionate and try to help you. If you feel like you need to call, do it. I'm sorry your gf started a fight. Do you know WHY she does that? Maybe she could go to T with you?

She has said before she threatens to leave because she wants me to beg her to stay but because of my last relationship. Girlfriend cheated on me and was very abusive, I begged her not to leave me and she said I was pathetic blah blah...I will never beg anyone for anything again. I think she has some issues she needs to deal with but I am not the person to help her.

Originally Posted by worried0107

I go through the same thing with my husband almost every weekend too and anytime we plan something with my family. It's a bipolar disorder. Try to understand that its not her but the disease. When she starts a fight give her time to blow off steam and when she calms down, talk to her. It is very difficult to do cause its hard to hear the things my husband says to me, it hurts big time, but when he calms down he is approachable and apologizes. I get angry at the disease not him. He always tells me that he never means to say the things he does and he always reminds me its the disease and that he loves me. Hope this helps.

Worried, I am so sorry to hear that you have the same problem with your husband. It's hard to deal with I know and also hard not to blame him and get angry with him. My gf hasn't been diagnosed with anything but it has crossed my mind that there was something wrong. She is depressed and on sleeping tablet which I have made allowances for her bad behaviour because of this but there is something more to it.

Originally Posted by ultramar

I think (I could be wrong, but I think under a different name) you have previously posted about your girlfriend and received a lot of feedback here about how abusive she is. I'm very sorry this is the situation. But it seems that now, as then, you're not going to leave. So I'm not sure what to tell you.

I don't think your or most any therapist would respond with "I told you so." But is there any response from her that might help you to reconsider this relationship?

Regardless of the eventual outcome, I am glad that she brought it up and you are talking about it. At least getting to the root of why you're in this relationship, why you want to stay despite her behavior, is a good place to start and I suspect you'll be talking about these things. I think -again, regardless of whether you continue with the girlfriend or not- discussing this in-depth, your emotions surrounding the matter, could be very beneficial to you. Best of luck!

Hi ultramar, no I have not posted about my girlfriend here before only that she lives near my t, that's all. Maybe you are confusing me with someone else?
I had a different name but didnt post about my troubles with gf!

Rainbow, she will not go to therapy with me, she doesn't even want me going as she gets jealous. She acknowledges she has problems but maybe is not ready to deal with them yet