[lemon80s]

Hi lovely folks,

I've been hanging out here for a short while since I started therapy. And also reading a ton of things through links that people provide. It's really nice to get a lot of input in ways to look at things.

As my thought process keeps going and going while not in T's office, I feel a need for answers. And some things will take forever to come up in T because we can't do everything at once. I want to start exploring things before we get to it in therapy. So maybe you guys can suggest some reading material on these subjects. Also, if you want reading material on other subjects, feel free to use this thread to ask for it!

So, maybe some one has a reading tip on this:

1. Learning to recognise your emotions (when you are like me, unable to feel them)
2. How to know what's real, this is a bit cryptic so I'll try to explain: how do you know which thoughts are your own and which thoughts are there because you think they should be? Like when I know I should feel panicky I start to think I am, while I wasn't. I guess this is really sort of linked with nr 1.

Anything related to these sort of questions would be very nice! Maybe even a novel you read that struggled with these things.

[ECHOES]

I don't know about learning these things from reading, but I can tell you that my years in therapy have helped me with both or the issues you mention in your post. These things are personal rather than general, I think. And it takes time for your therapist to get to know you, and lots of talking about perceptions and exploring your thoughts together.

You might want to read up on some of the coginitive therapy ideas simply because the basic idea is that our thoughts and emotions are tightly linked, that in fact our thoughts (often very subconsciously) drive our emotions.

My T's favorite book for this is called The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. He had me read just the middle chapters in the book. I don't particularly have big problems with anxiety and I have no phobias, but the middle chapters deal with self talk, the mistaken beliefs that we brought with us from childhood, and personality styles. It is a very quick and concise overview of the rebt/cbt-types of therapy approaches, and is really well-written with very nice exercises to work through. You don't need to read the whole book at all; just those 3 chapters can be really helpful.

His other favorite book is The Mindful Way Through Depression. Obviously all on mindfulness, etc. This is NOT my favorite book, but mainly out of my own stubbornness about mindfulness.

[stopdog]

This is a partial list of books I have read. Most were not useful to me. I find, to me, the authors blame clients, label them and are extremely condesceding:

Getting Started- Joel Koten
Termination in Psychotherapy - Joyce, Piper, Klein
Positive Endings in Psychotherapy- Steven Kramer
Terminating Therapy- Davis
Good enough Endings – Salberg
Endings in Clinical Practice -Walsh
Psychoanalytic Diagnosis - McWilliams
Being a Brainwise Therapist - Badenoch
Ariadne’s Thread -Cowan
Psychodynamic Psychotherapy - Ursono
The Talking Cure - Vaughan
How Psychotherapy Really Works - Gaylin
Psychodynamic Techniques – Maroda
Psychodynamic Therapy – Summers and Barber
Attachment in Psychotherapy-Wallin
Trauma and the Avoidant Client – Wallin
Will I Ever Be Good Enough – McBride
Affect Intolerance in Patient and Analyst - Coen
Modes of Therapeutic Action – M. Stark
The Gift of Therapy – Yalom
Between Therapist and Client: The New Relationship – Kahn
Shame and Guilt – Tangney
Shame in the Therapy Hour – Dearing and Tangney
Psychology of Shame – Kaufman
_______________

These are the only ones I have read so far that I found useful and where the author was not insufferable:

The Trauma Myth: The Truth About the Sexual Abuse of Children--and its Aftermath -Susan A. Clancy

In Session: The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists- Lott
Trauma – Herman
Drama of the Gifted Child – Miller
For Your Own Good – Miller

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by lemon80s

1. Learning to recognise your emotions (when you are like me, unable to feel them)
2. How to know what's real, this is a bit cryptic so I'll try to explain: how do you know which thoughts are your own and which thoughts are there because you think they should be? Like when I know I should feel panicky I start to think I am, while I wasn't. I guess this is really sort of linked with nr 1.

To me, these two questions are about how to increase your mindfulness-- which is essentially about learning to be in the present. If this is it, these two books have really helped me:

Buddha's Brain:

Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom: Rick Hanson, Richard Mendius: 9781572246959: Amazon.com: Books

Mindsight:

Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation: Daniel J. Siegel: 9780553386394: Amazon.com: Books