[content30]

I'm just curious...wondering if anyone has referred a friend or family member to your T. If so, did he or she see your T? I've referred several people to my T, and my cousin is going to start seeing my T this summer. I'm pretty excited about it, but at the same time, it will be weird to know someone else seeing my T.

I have, but I really have no idea if they went to him or not. Unless they were to tell me, I wouldn't know. My T is very careful with confidentiality.

It wouldn't bother me if they did though. Their therapy wouldn't have anything to do with my therapy.

[CantExplain]

My wife referred me and I went.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Nope. I'd feel weird about it...what if they took my recommendation and then didn't like my T?

I had a friend recommend a doctor to me, and when I went to see them, it was horrible and I found myself wondering how my friend could even stand that doctor!

I did consider recommending my T to one of my friends, for her daughter, as her daughter is dealing with issues my T specializes in, and he daughter has a similar personality to me, so I think it would be a good fit. However, my T does not see people under 16 years of age, and my friend's daughter is 14.

[moonlitsky]

I would never recommend someone to my T - the transference is so painful I couldn't bear it. I need that space for myself. She also would never take on a client who was someone I know as she knows the pain too. As a therapist myself I am aware that there are often unconscious dynamics at work should a client want someone they know to see me - and that is worked with. I wouldn't work with any close family or friends of a client and have never had a client do this anyway (except possibly years later). Occasionally, after the end of a therapy, a client will recommend someone to me - and I often wonder if it's a way to stay in contact somehow.

Clients I have seen short term for less intensive work often recommend me to others and that feels ok. But for those right in the depths of their pain, it wouldn't happen - and I would never do that to them either.

Moon

[Flooded]

Nope, might make it harder for me to get an appt

[tinyrabbit]

I wouldn't refer anyone to my T. I don't want anyone I know in my space.

[HealingTimes]

I wouldn't want to refer anyone to my T for several reasons:

1-Nobody in my RL knows i have a T
2-The emotional pain would be too much. As far as i am concerned, she is MY T and nobody elses (yes, i know she has other clients, but i never see them etc)
3-I wouldn't them to think it's OK to talk to me about my T, how she works etc.

[sittingatwatersedge]

>>> wondering if anyone has referred a friend or family member to your T.
I did, once.

>> If so, did he or she see your T?
don't know; I haven't asked T but if I did, she wouldn't tell me;
and I wouldn't ask the other person at all. Any more than I would like to run into them in the waiting room.

With old t, yes. I referred my best friend at the time. It was fun sometimes, we would have sessions the same day so we would dress alike, or do our therapy homework exactly the same, just to play mind games with her.
However, then my best friend went a little nuts. I dont know if she was competing for t's attention with me, or what. But long story short, everything ended up a huge disaster, and neither of them are in my life any longer. But neither was good for me either.

With current t, she is famous and i have referred several people to her, but i dont know who she sees and who she doesnt, so i dont have any feelings about it. Years ago i would have been jealous, but this t has a huge heart and a lot of love to go around.

[content30]

Thanks everyone for your stories and opinions. I really appreciate it.

[photostotake]

Yes. One of my good friends also saw my T. He's board certified in sleep- one of the few in our area and my friend was desperate to find someone that could help, so I recommended that she should see him. He helped her in only a few sessions. She said she wouldn't hesitate to go back to him for anything again if needed- she likes him as much as I do. Plus, she's one of the few people I can talk to about my therapy experiences. We're good like that.

[1stepatatime]

I haven't referred anyone to my T...I feel possessive of her and it would be too weird for me to "share" her with anyone I know. That statement was totally from my emotional side. My intellectual side would be more like " my T is great..you may want to give her a call and see if she is a fit for you". but quite honestly I am focusing more on my emotional side these days so I would probably not refer a family member or friend to my T.

[critterlady]

I haven't and wouldn't refer anyone to my T. I'm the youngest of four siblings and growing up, I rarely had a teacher that didn't one of my siblings before me. I was always being compared to them. Therapy is one place where I want to be me, an individual, not someone's sister, cousin, friend.

During a recent family crisis, my T offered to talk to my sister. I told her she could call him, gave her his numbers and everything. The minute I did it, I wanted to take it back. T and I have talked about it since and I told him I didn't want him to talk to her and that he was my therapist, not hers. I was almost childish about it. No, not almost. I was childish about it. T was great and said that if I didn't want it, he wouldn't do it.

[stopdog]

I did with the first one I ever saw. A couple of friends. It was not a problem. I already knew a lot of people who used her.

I would never refer anyone to the second one - she was horrible.

I doubt I would the one I see now unless I was no longer having her as a therapist.

[sugahorse1]

I may have; can't remember.
But in hindsight I wouldn't like it. I think it's also due to the transference issue

[Raging Quiet]

I did once and she attended, this was years ago and she didn't attend too long.

[meganmf15]

No! I will not share my T with anyone!!!!

[0w6c379]

I have referred someone but it didn't work out because of insurance coverage. I would only refer a close friend that I trusted. Eveyone else can find their own.

I referred a friend to my pdoc and she sees him, which is cool because we can talk about him, ha.

A friend referred me to my now ex-T, which at the time was wonderful...now I wish she had never ever given me his name.

I tried to, but my T won't do therapy with people who know each other. I feel really guilty about being the one who gets to see this T, while the friend I tried to refer to him is still looking for a good T.

[scorpiosis37]

I did. I referred one of my very good friends to my T and it has been kind of fun to share therapy experiences with each other. I've been with my T 3 years and my friend has been seeing her now for 1 1/2 years. There are only certain people though that I would refer to my T. I would not refer a friend with whom I had frequent conflicts, because that would put T in the middle. I would also not refer someone who was looking for the same kind of attachment that I am. I don't feel jealous of my friend seeing my T because she isn't going there looking for a "maternal" connection or working on attachment issues. She wanted a T to deal with relationship problems with her gf. We're doing totally different work in therapy, so it doesn't feel like too much overlap. My T has also shared much more personal things with me than she has with my friend, so she still feels like "my" T even though my friend sees her, too.

[content30]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I tried to, but my T won't do therapy with people who know each other. I feel really guilty about being the one who gets to see this T, while the friend I tried to refer to him is still looking for a good T.

Awww...that was nice to try, though! My T sees people who know each other but on a case-by-case basis....

[blur]

i referred a friend to a T of mine, and they spoke on the phone. T never called my friend back when she wanted to start therapy with her. also, i had a spiritual mentor who was a T and this same friend asked to do therapy with my mentor/this T and she never called my friend back either, lol. i think they may have seen something in this person that i didn't at the time. a couple of years later i ended the friendship because she was an emotional vampire and i felt like an unpaid T rather than a friend. (and no, i am not a T.)

[WikidPissah]

I have, but not someone I am close to. I saw them there a few times. I never talk about therapy with real life friends, so no worries.