[sweepy62]

My group therapy friend who also sees the same individual t I see told me last week that the t ditched her referred her to another t while in the middle of trauma processing. My friend also said I might be next although I know t and I have good rapport I'm still pretty anxious since t and I are working on trauma. I don't see t till next week should I leave her a message about this concern. Please help

[content30]

Personally, I would not worry about it. Ts terminate Cs for various reasons. What you heard is only one side of the story, and there are always two sides. Also, your T won’t even be able to tell you why she terminated that other individual because of confidentiality. I’m certain that my T has terminated people; I mean, I know that she terminated at least one client as she had a client stalk her and had to call the police. I am not saying that the other person stalked your T, but, what I am saying is, who knows the entire story? If your T has treated you well and you have a good rapport up until now, then I would not be concerned. In other words, if I found out tomorrow that my T terminated someone in the middle of dealing with something major, I would not be concerned as I am solid in my relationship with T and know that she would only terminate me for very valid and extenuating circumstances. I hope this helps….

I agree with content30. Just focus on your own progress & let it go. There is nothing to be gained by contacting your therapist about this.

[CantExplain]

It's always difficult to wait, but in the end, it is better to raise your concerns face-to-face. You can do it!

[ultramar]

My friend also said I might be next

What a perfectly and utterly nasty thing to say. Maybe it was due to this sort of behavior that she was terminated.

I wouldn't worry about it. Whatever happened in her therapy has nothing to do with you.

[tinyrabbit]

I would talk to your T. She can't tell you what happened with another client but she can talk about you and your therapy and hopefully set your mind at rest.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by ultramar

My friend also said I might be next

What a perfectly and utterly nasty thing to say.

I agree. Not a very nice friend. I would talk to your t about your concerns, not about your friends therapy or termination. Ask for reassurance.

[Perna]

That is a classic example of why one is not supposed to be friends outside of group with other group members; now you are anxious about your individual therapy and the group one is in jeopardy no matter what happens in this instance; either your friend is trying to be helpful and "warn" you of pain s/he thinks is to come or is a jealous non-"friend" and wishing for company in pain.

I would think about the larger situation and the difficulties of having the same therapist for both individual and group therapy. Most of this current problem is poor planning on your therapist's part. I would wait until your individual session and then tell her you know of your friend's referral and suspect it might be necessary for your T to refer you too because of the conflict of interest in being an individual T and group T for the same person but tell her you are not at all happy about how she has handled it and, if given the choice, you would like her for your individual T and not group (or group and not individual, whichever you prefer) or, you may decide if she is this clumsy on something so simple (she should have explained the situation before you started group and referred you prior to group if she was changing her status to group therapist) you do not want her for either. Even if she was late transferring clients from her individual to her group sessions, you should not be "next", she should have told you around the same time she did your friend. It's naive of her to think you would not hear, whether or not you were "friends" with any of the others in group.

Originally Posted by Perna

That is a classic example of why one is not supposed to be friends outside of group with other group members; now you are anxious about your individual therapy and the group one is in jeopardy no matter what happens in this instance; either your friend is trying to be helpful and "warn" you of pain s/he thinks is to come or is a jealous non-"friend" and wishing for company in pain.

I would think about the larger situation and the difficulties of having the same therapist for both individual and group therapy. Most of this current problem is poor planning on your therapist's part. I would wait until your individual session and then tell her you know of your friend's referral and suspect it might be necessary for your T to refer you too because of the conflict of interest in being an individual T and group T for the same person but tell her you are not at all happy about how she has handled it and, if given the choice, you would like her for your individual T and not group (or group and not individual, whichever you prefer) or, you may decide if she is this clumsy on something so simple (she should have explained the situation before you started group and referred you prior to group if she was changing her status to group therapist) you do not want her for either. Even if she was late transferring clients from her individual to her group sessions, you should not be "next", she should have told you around the same time she did your friend. It's naive of her to think you would not hear, whether or not you were "friends" with any of the others in group.

I just finished a group therapy segment, and have decided to be friend two of the members - one a therapist. Will you point me to the research that says this is not acceptable. Thanks.

[tinyrabbit]

I think it depends on the rules of the group. My friend who does group isn't allowed to be friends outside the group until a certain amount of time has passed after they have both left.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

I just finished a group therapy segment, and have decided to be friend two of the members - one a therapist. Will you point me to the research that says this is not acceptable. Thanks.

I have a friend I met in Group. That group is over now and friends AFTER Group was explicitly permitted.

[Perna]

Not all groups "forbid" being friends with members; it has its difficulties though:



From: Amazon.com: 0876309848: Books (page 212)

I think that seeing how this therapist dealt with the two members having her as individual therapist and now being in her group (she knew that, might not have known they were/would become friends), that she does not appear to be very cognizant of those difficulties and how to deal with them?

This book writer is still setting "guidelines" for the outside contact though, and I don't think group members will necessarily follow them any more than they will the "no contact" rule that many groups have. In my group I was a member of for 10+ years, we had little turnover, went out afterwards together sometimes and I even dated/became romantically involved with a member, all without it being discussed in the group and it could have gone very badly at any time and then caused a mess. In my experience, therapists often discourage interaction but don't "forbid" it (they can't enforce that very well) and in the group I was in there was one couple who had a relationship that was discussed in group and, had I been one of those members, I would not have been able to bear that and would have had to leave the group which would have been detrimental to me and the group I think.

[CantExplain]

One group I was in had a rule that outside contact was OK but it should be reported back to the group.