[likelife]

I've been waiting to see consultT for the past 20 minutes and there's no sign of her anywhere. Getting ready to just leave. Grrr...

[stopdog]

That sounds like a bad way to start. I hope she contacts you to let you know what happened.

[unaluna]

Wtf? Call her.

[Perna]

Is there a secretary or office staff you can ask where she is? Sounds like a mixup in time or maybe she had an emergency. I hate waiting anxiously like that, wondering.

[likelife]

She came out shortly after I posted and apologized for being so late. Not sure what was going on.

We had a good session. I'm exhausted now.

[likelife]

She said that my T had reached the limits of her skill and had responded poorly. She agreed with my impression that there probably were things that my T wasn't disclosing, about herself, that were interfering with the therapy.

She (consultT) really seemed to get it. I just need to figure out what to do with the fear that she will terminate me as well.

[likelife]

This is what my brain does: I want to write consultT for reassurance that she won't terminate me too. I won't, because I need to put on my big girl undies and deal with this myself. But it would really be nice if I could get my damned brain to turn off.

What are those old messages from way back when that say, "I have to deal with this by myself?"

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by likelife

She said that my T had reached the limits of her skill and had responded poorly. She agreed with my impression that there probably were things that my T wasn't disclosing, about herself, that were interfering with the therapy.

She (consultT) really seemed to get it. I just need to figure out what to do with the fear that she will terminate me as well.

It sounds like this T understand about your termination. I still have fears my T will terminate me. The damage T's can cause can take awhile to work through. I think that what people dislike in others, they dislike in themselves, so she might have had issues with her own needs. IDK

[likelife]

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

What are those old messages from way back when that say, "I have to deal with this by myself?"

The virtue of self-reliance was instilled in me since birth. I feel in some ways that I was too dependent on my exT, and I'm wary of making that same mistake again. Actually, it wasn't so much that I was too dependent, as it was that I was just too much.

I also don't know consultT, whom I should probably just start calling my T, very well. She's not very responsive to email (which I've only used for scheduling with her). I think I'm more nervous about the idea of putting myself out there and not hearing anything back. I think I feel comfortable enough asking her next week.