[rainbow8]

I started talking and barely stopped for 90 minutes. She didn't even try to do SE because I said I just needed to talk. I talked about my marriage and about transference. She gave me some ideas to try out, but mainly I just wanted to tell her my feelings. She knew most of what I said; it wasn't new, like my T-history, but for some reason I had to tell her again. I wanted her to know that only once did I quit T because I felt I was ready.

She says I have choices regarding my marriage. If I don't want a divorce, I can try to make it better. She asked me some questions, and I said I can try but nothing seems to work, and that even if I quit therapy, I don't think it will get better. I wondered if I had married someone else, would I be in the same place I am now, or would someone with a more nurturing, gentle personality have been more suited to me.

I was embarrassed to tell her that I posted "I am in love with T's smile" though I think she knows that. After the session, I emailed that to her and said it was too pathetic to tell her in the session. I think my parts should be over this already.

What did I say about the movie Groundhog Day? Will I ever get it right and not repeat, repeat, and repeat? I told her I never would want to quit therapy but I may have to next spring. I don't want to think about that now.

Anyway, it felt good not to have to talk about my body and to just "spill it all out" for a change.

[ultramar]

How do you feel now after all the talking? It's so different from what you've been doing. If it helped, maybe it can be another tool in the toolbox for your therapy, along with the other modalities that are used. Glad you had a good session!

[wotchermuggle]

Yeah, those venting sessions where you just talk and talk can be so healing, especially when they are a change of pace from the usual therapy appointment.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by ultramar

How do you feel now after all the talking? It's so different from what you've been doing. If it helped, maybe it can be another tool in the toolbox for your therapy, along with the other modalities that are used. Glad you had a good session!

Thanks, ultrmar. I feel okay though I wish I could have slowed down more--LOL, that was your thread, wasn't it? I've always talked to my T somewhat because we couldn't do IFS or EMDR for 90 minutes straight. Well, you could, but I never wanted to. But I haven't talked for an entire session for awhile. It feels more like adult to adult, as though we're having a conversation. I like that but I also like when she takes control, when we do SE or used to do the EMDR. I like a little of both! She didn't object to my talking the whole time. She's very flexible, my T. But don't forget, I've had years of talk therapy before seeing my T. I like the different methods we use.

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Yeah, those venting sessions where you just talk and talk can be so healing, especially when they are a change of pace from the usual therapy appointment.

I didn't have any major insights, but yes, venting is what I needed today. I also know now that it's okay to talk about my marriage. I just wondered in light of her situation, but like she told me, therapy is about me, not her. It seems like I have more transference when we do the SE because she's more involved. I'm also more nervous because I have to talk about my body. I'm sure we'll get back to that soon, though!