[archipelago]

I have 2 months during the summer when I'll be away. I've done Skype therapy before, but it feels really awkward. I feel shy and self-conscious, especially seeing my own face with his. I'd almost prefer just phone sessions but I will miss a lot that way.

Has anyone else had long breaks and had to use electronics?

My last session was focussed partly on physical closeness, that is, touch and sitting near each other. I don't really have much transference any more, but the reassurance of a strong secure hug or squeeze of my hand will really be missed.

I'm in a transitional space, not of crisis, but waiting for new things to begin. One of the things that I've counted on has been that twice weekly presence. I just don't feel like electronics are going to be very satisfying.

[growlithing]

Eek I'd be so uncomfortable with therapy over any other medium than in person. I've tried to talk with her over the phone and it went super badly. I just clammed up and couldn't say anything. I'd be really nervous about Skype.

My therapist has been on the other side of the world for two years for a family emergency. Its very hard without her. Skype and phone are all we have. Its hard doing therapy this way, but its definitely better than nothing. One of the best thig about t was sitting by her and holding hands and going for walks and hugs. Its tough to not have that.

[archipelago]

Yeah, the in person thing is really important. I'm not really into media anyway. Hardly use my cell phone even though it's a nice one, took down my Facebook page, though I do like email, but my therapist doesn't use email, though he accepts them, he doesn't like to write himself, more of a talker and doer than a writer.

At least I'll have his voice which is soothing, but still...

I've had periods of separation before but this is adding up to the longest so far and right when I feel like I've just been (re) born so a little bit more in need of that protective safety that I feel in person.

[Willowleaf]

That sounds really tough. I too have twice weekly sessions which revolve a lot around physical presence. I was trying to use Skype during absences but discovered that for me personally, I am unable to feel any connection to her this way and in fact it can make me very unsafe. This meant during her last absence I had to refuse the offer to Skype in order to look after myself. She made me promise to sit and email her for an hour at the same time as our session and she replied in length which is unusual for her. Maybe you can talk about it and even try Skype or phone and see how it is for you. I used to be able to manage phone contact. I have a 6 week break this summer which I know is going to be hard and really feel for you, but since your t seems open to different possibilities I hope you manage to work something out.

[Miswimmy1]

I have done phone appointments... its definately not the same as in person, but i would prefer it over skype.

[archipelago]

I just talked to my therapist on the eve of my departure. I'm having trouble with pain control and had to ask him about med stuff, but when I found out he was alone and had a bit of time, I raised some of the issues I'm feeling about being away.

I realized that the issue of touch is really a symbolic one. It represents safety and even some protectiveness shown to me, which has been rare in my experience and is required now while I'm in a vulnerable state. It's a particular quality in the touch, that he is very bold and manly about it so it's not that soft, fuzzy huggy thing, but more of a firm grip saying "I am here no matter what."

No matter how I might come across I'm really almost skinless, feeling hardly any way to protect myself from what I have concluded is a very cruel world. I've been so seriously harmed before on so many occasions that I developed a false projection of self that a former therapist called the samurai. But over the years I've stripped away the samurai and now I feel really too open to things.

Those little moments of a firm grip of my hand or a squeeze of arms around me tight make me feel like he can transfer a shell to this mushy turtle so I can swim free.

I don't think his voice can do the same kind of thing though that's what I'm going to try to work with because that's all I have for a while. Like I said I'm undergoing some changes so I'm in a particular place where this is just really bad timing.

[Willowleaf]

Well done for being able to have that conversation. I really hope your trip goes well and you get a sense of the shell you need so you can enjoy times of swimming free. Will be thinking of you