[jkbob]

What is wrong with me? I should be angry, I should hold a grudge, I should be hurt, and I certainly shouldn't forgive without an apology but often I just let stuff go (big and small) and many things that I should be hurt or bothered by I can barely even remember days later because I literally have forgotten and moved on.

Does anyone else do this? How do you stay angry when you need to?

JKBOB, I don't think its about not being angry or about forgetting or moving on...

It could be being in denial, repressing your true feelings, co-dependence playing out.... just some thoughts...

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

JKBOB, I don't think its about not being angry or about forgetting or moving on...

It could be being in denial, repressing your true feelings, co-dependence playing out.... just some thoughts...

I don't know because I feel like I really truly let stuff go and I couldn't tell you 3 days from now what was said or why I was so upset at the moment.

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by jkbob

What is wrong with me? I should be angry, I should hold a grudge, I should be hurt, and I certainly shouldn't forgive without an apology but often I just let stuff go (big and small) and many things that I should be hurt or bothered by I can barely even remember days later because I literally have forgotten and moved on.

Does anyone else do this? How do you stay angry when you need to?

I do. I'm sorry that I can't really offer any advice but just know I do the same thing. It scares me that I forget what happens only a couple of days later. I couldn't remember why I was having an issue at home last weekend when trying to recall it during T today...I'm thinking I might be dissociating but idk...

[Moodswing]

People with childhood trauma are good at this. We do not feel. Obviously we pay the price some where else in our lives(Bulimia,self-harm,feeling worthless, not valued). It is a protector not to react right away to a situation. The thing I do not like when I am in fair weather recovery is I seem to be weepy over thing I never was. I do not put forth that cold ice queen front. I don't know if I am explaining it right. That is how I understand it.

[nessaea]

I don't forget about things, but I do "move on" so to speak. I have spent my whole life trying to rationalize things around myself, especially bad things that were happening, so when something happens that elicits a strong emotion like sadness, anger, etc. I do the same thing. The result of that is that generally, within two or three days, I have stripped away all the feelings from it and think of it as a non-emotional event. I can talk about it calmly and logically (and usually can justify it to anyone, including myself) but I can't really access any of the emotions I felt. It's kind like my right brain is too broken that everything just gets stored in my left brain, you know?

Anyway, I don't know if that's what you are saying, but that's kind of how it happens for me. I haven't figured out how to stay mad. Since part of my rationalization process usually includes trying to understand why the other person did it, I in fact usually feel sympathy and compassion if I feel anything at all, and not anger. I know this is not good, but I'm working to fix it

[tinyrabbit]

My T calls it stuffing. I tend to stuff my feelings away somewhere so I kind of dissociate from them. As a result I have a lot of them in there that I need to deal with bit by bit.