Since i told me T about my feelings for him, I have felt absolutely overwhelmed sometimes, I feel like will be suffocated by them. Like I'm drowning and I just want to cling to him to save me. I'm just about paralysed by them. My T project of drawing and writing about them doesn't help. There are words in my drawing, very old hurtful words that I don't want to show him but the drawing says so much. I don't want to discuss the words as they still have power. I left them in the drawing as I thought they might not have so much power on paper. I know I will have to talk about them eventually but I'm so scared.

I also thought the feelings would lessen if I told him about them.
Thanks for reading.

[Ike McCaslin]

My feelings did lessen somewhat when I disclosed them, BPA. Then there was a period of ebbing and waning. I am now 3 hours away and still think of her often, but not obsessively. I do not have a new T or PDOC and am just trying to manager. Good luck to you.

[Mapleton]

I think you're Lola, correct? If not apologies.

I don't have transference love issues as you've had, but I did have a multi-year yearning for someone that did care for me, but wouldn't/couldn't return the affections. It sucks, especially if you have any bipolar/histrionic/OCD features.

I'd say this is up to your T to resolve. The ultimate thing is for you to get and stay healthy. If this transference is an obstacle, then the T needs to have a resolution, which may end up being painful, but the T cannot cross the boundary you'd like and still help to guide and heal you, ethically.

[Moodswing]

Transference sucks.

Sometimes when we disclose how we feel the feelings get worse and we want to talk about them all the time and then when t encourages us to talk about them it becomes an obsession and a painful one too.
Sorry this is so hard for you bipolar
When I told my t she terminated me and that hurt because I felt the feelings were wrong but they are natural, maybe the best way to deal with them is to really feel them and allow them to be. Ask yourself why are you feeling like this, does it stir up any old feelings or buried emotions?
Sometimes feelings are trying to tell us something, they scream to be heard and when we acknowledge them they go away.
I know it's hard to sit with your feelings, they are so painful.

[WikidPissah]

I don't know, I've never had strong feelings for a t like you speak of. But I do wish you luck.