[ks33182]

Hi all, so I have been doing therapy for about a month and so far I think it is going well and starting to help me...but lately there are times when I'll be talking about something and when I'm finished and don't have anything else to say, my T just looks at me or sits there in silence...I'm not sure if she is just trying to process what I'm saying, or perhaps it's a way to get me to keep talking (if that's the case it works lol)...if she doesn't respond to what I say right away (it's like 5 seconds or so, which seems so short yet so long in the session lol), my anxious part of me just wants to fill the silence you know?
Anyone else experience this? I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, but I just wonder what is up with that. Or maybe I'm over analyzing...which is just one of many things I am working on right now

[shelbykay]

I don't like the silences and am not sure of the point of them. I've been in therapy for several months and am getting a little more used to the silences/t staring at me. now i can sit there, for the most part, without feeling like i have to fill the silence. i usually just think to myself 'this is really awkward and i hope it ends soon.' I have no idea what, if anything, t is thinking.

[tinyrabbit]

She's potentially giving you space to keep talking, or thinking about what to say. Imagine if your T jumped in every time you paused for breath, or to think - it would be much harder to talk.

I would suggest you ask your T about this. I know I've had some interesting discussions around my feelings about silence, how he responds to me, etc.

[Perna]

My T and I discussed them once, after a long time without them (from previous years) and she said the T is often feeling awkward too; they have to judge if/when to break the silence or not, etc. and, since the client is being silent, there's no way T can know what's going on/what the problem is?

[critterlady]

I used to agonize over silence in therapy, but I've come to appreciate the silences. They give me an opportunity to think about something he or I have just said, or to come up with the right way to phrase my next thought. I use it for reflection.

Sometimes my T will break the silence. Sometimes I do. And if it's one of those silences where I really don't know what to say, I'll tell him that I'm not sure where to go next. He almost always guides the discussion then.

Ick, I hate this silences too. T uses them to watch me squirm like a worm under a magnifying glass sizzling in the sun. I know that's not exactly how she sees it but its how I feel. They are not meant to be awkward I think but more about using the time to think and t holds the space for you but I hate the way she stares ick

[critterlady]

I agree that the "observing" can feel like staring. I spend nearly all of the silent time playing with my travel mug or staring at the floor, so I don't see him watching me.

[Raging Quiet]

My T can't stand silences, she always speaks after 20 seconds or so if I stop speaking.

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

My T can't stand silences, she always speaks after 20 seconds or so if I stop speaking.

My T is like this too.

[murray]

Mine also talks pretty quickly too

[lrt1978]

I hate the silences too, I did ask and she said it was either to let me sit with the emotions/feelings, it also gave her some time to process what I had said and the best way to move forward or respond and also give me more space to carry on talking if I felt I needed it or if she felt I needed some breathing space to gather my thoughts.

[1stepatatime]

My T will be silent as well...but at least she doesn't stare at me, not too much anyways....but she has talked to me at length about how I must lead the session yet she also said that half of her wants to rescue me but she knows that would be counterproductive.... as much as I don't like it....I get it.

[ks33182]

Cool, it's good to know it's not just me The last session didn't really have this silence (I had a lot to talk about in general lol)...maybe I'll bring it up to her, maybe not, we'll see what happens.

[granite1]

silence for me is kind of a mixed bag. i dont mind it at all and will sit for a whole session without saying a word .but freaks me out if i feel my T is thinking horrible things in that silence.

[WikidPissah]

I do not like silences. I hate them in fact.