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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Posts: 190
18 |
Sep 03, 2006 at 05:01 PM
#1
I am so upset over this. I feel so stupid jealous crazy like a complete wacko. I don't know how to cope with this insanity. I will not ever talk to him about it ever. I just can't. I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to admit how I feel about this happy occasin for him. I would never tell him and now he is married and happy with someone. it is tearing me up inside that he has found someone he loves. I think of him all the time and imagine him with this person. I dont even know what she looks like I just imagine them together. Anyone gone through this? I do feel crazy for even writing this. Ifeel like a complete nutcase, which I am.
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Member
Member Since May 2006
Posts: 112
18 |
Sep 03, 2006 at 05:06 PM
#2
Lol... I've felt the same way... My T dare not get married ever! But heck, if she does, that's grist for the mill.... Do go ahead... take a leap of faith and talk to your T about your feelings regarding his marriage and finding the love of his life..... it's good grist for the mill, and I'll bet you'll come out feeling much better than you are right now...
Keep us posted! Take care, |
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Posts: n/a
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Sep 03, 2006 at 07:03 PM
#3
maybe you can start first by thinking about what it means to you.
For example.. does his being happy with someone else make you feel like you will get less attention? Did you have hopes of finding a close relationship similar to a marraige with him? Were you romantically attracted to him? What does this new marrage mean for your relationship with him? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2006
Posts: 1,449
18 |
Sep 03, 2006 at 07:20 PM
#4
Congrads for your T! You might feel like that if he did so much for you like most T's do! I am pretty sure I never felt like that my Psychologist and Psychiatrist are married and I just wonder how they act towards each other but that is about it.
__________________ "It hit me like a ton of bricks!" 
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
21 132 hugs
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Sep 03, 2006 at 08:37 PM
#5
Jealousy about your T is hard to talk about, but a lot more common than you might think. If you can talk to him about it, he might be able to help you feel better about it. It's actually prety important to share feelings about T with your T because that grist for the mill is an important part of how they work with you. The therapy relationship intensifies feelings that you might have with other people in your life, and by figuring out those feelings you can work on the way you think, feel, and behave outside of therapy too.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Posts: 190
18 |
Sep 03, 2006 at 08:38 PM
#6
>>>maybe you can start first by thinking about what it means to you.For example.. does his being happy with someone else make you feel like you will get less attention? Did you have hopes of finding a close relationship similar to a marraige with him? Were you romantically attracted to him? What does this new marrage mean for your relationship with him? <<<
thanks for all your responses so far. Yes all of the above. I am really nuts! I know this is not reality.that nothing could ever happen between us. I know this logically. I don't think himgetting married means anything to our relationship. But I cannot get over the fact that he is with someone. At night when I am thinking of him.I'm jealous! |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Posts: 750
18 
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Sep 04, 2006 at 01:19 AM
#7
Oddly, I know kind of how you feel. My T is married and when he speaks of HER I want to smack her one
 Though I am non-violent but I know jealous of T way too well...and once...Omg I saw him hug a client she hugged him but ...grrrrrrrr
__________________ The optimist sees the glass of water as half full, the pessimist sees the glass of water as half empty, the pragmatist drink the water because they are thirsty |
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Posts: 1
18 |
Sep 04, 2006 at 01:33 AM
#8
I don't think you're crazy, but I do think you are torturing yourself, and I feel sad. I hope you can find good things about yourself to focus on - they ARE there, you know - and let go of this guy. If he doesn't feel about you the way you want him to, maybe he isn't worth all the attention you're giving him. He deserves to be happy, but so do you.
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
18
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Sep 04, 2006 at 04:52 AM
#9
What you are feeling are absolutely normal winterbaby. I would be jealous too... in fact I am, my T has been married for a long time and I resent his wife. I think it's the closeness of the relationship, you share stuff with him that you wouldn't share with anyone else and you do form a bond. Don't feel bad or shy to talk to him about this, he will definately understand... I told my T and he said he was happy I felt this way because it means I can still have normal feelings towards men! It's funny though, I don't want a sexually intmate relationship with him, but I rather want to be his best friend. How do you feel if you think about it? Do you want to kiss or hug him?
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2006
Posts: 1,449
18 |
Sep 04, 2006 at 04:01 PM
#10
It is sort of a T bond I guess they become a important person in your life and form the T bond. Yet I had one before that was not too good and it is the opposite T hate. It sounds normal a lot of us here even shared alike experiences. I like a lot of my T's but not like like, some of them hugged me or said I looked cute.
__________________ "It hit me like a ton of bricks!"
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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Posts: 190
18 |
Sep 04, 2006 at 06:37 PM
#11
Thanks everyone again. Yes I am torturing myself big time. I do agree there is a bond with us but it was kind of lessening over the past few weeks. I guess leadingup to his big day. I want his heart and soul.
I want him to be happy, but not with HER. boo hoo hoo. AND HIM BEING HAPPY DURING MY THERAPY. Big Pity party going on here. Yes I must find other things to do other than concentrate on him and his new life. I need to get a life. |
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