[AliciaBrad]

This post might turn out long.

I'm in the UK, so it would help to hear from people who live here. I've been having problems with stress/nerves/self-harm for a long time. I stopped going to see any kind of doctor/dentist/health professional since I was about 10. For some reason, I got very protective about my body and personal space, and started to hate doctors with a vengeance, so stopped going. My Dad is a doctor so he didn't mind me being unregistered with the NHS.

I was sent to a counsellor in high school when I was 14 because I was getting into a lot of trouble, missing classes and work and the headteacher once discovered I was self-harming while I was "in trouble" in his office. I went to see that counsellor, but when asked what was wrong, I just said I'd fallen out with a friend. Then, the second time I saw her, I said I'd made up with my friend and that was the end of that. It was completely fictional, but I was too afraid that anything honest I said would be passed onto parents/teachers/police.

I'm now 20 at university, and really struggling to keep up with everyday life. Just an example, I've been taking driving lessons since I was 17 but I'm very scared of cars and haven't made much progress. I can't seem to stomach job interviews. My nerves won't let me study and I've missed lots of exams and classes. It all just seems to be getting worse, and I'm mostly worried about the financial implications of dropping out of uni, taking hundreds of driving lessons, having no job etc.

So I want to see the counsellor at my university, but I need to know. Will they breach confidentiality if I mention any of the following:

- Suicidal fantasies
- Child abuse in the past
- Dad hitting me sometimes (currently)
- Me hitting a child
?

I still don't feel like I can go and see a professional if I'm risking getting into trouble.

[Perna]

Here's Cambridge's code of ethics/confidentiality, see if it helps answer some questions?

Confidentiality, Data Protection & Complaints - University Counselling Service

I imagine most other uni's will be similar.

[Laina M.]

Alicia, as a general rule counsellors can only breach confidentiality if they're concerned someone will hurt themselves or hurt others. However, the best thing for you to do to make sure is make an appointment, and ask them upfront. Say you're worried about confidentiality, and ask them to lay out for you exactly what they're mandated to breach for. They'll let know you how it works where you live.

Good luck!

[Miswimmy1]

1. if you say you are going to hurt or kill yourself or someone else, and they believe that you have the means and the desire to do so
2. if you have been abused (for minors)

[Victoria'smom]

Different therapists have different rules as far as self harm goes, so ask about their policy.

[Hoonoo]

I would think you protect your space with the little things like dentist because you could never protect yourself from the big thing, which was the abuse you are still getting from childhood. So first know it isn't your fault then spill all to a T. Only way.

[tinyrabbit]

[quote=AliciaBrad;3132177]- Me hitting a child[/quote]

Could you clarify what you mean here? Is this recent/current or in the past?

I'm sorry about all you are going through.

[ScrewedUpMe]

Hi Alicia,

Welcome to PC

Sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment. I think talking to a counsellor is a great idea and the best way forward. Like someone else here said, ask them upfront what their policy is on disclosure and take it from there. You don't have to tell them everything at once or anything that you don't feel comfortable with. You could start with trying to get a better handle on your anxiety with regards to studying etc. And see how it goes and how you feel about the counsellor.

If it's any help, I went through similar when I was at uni and had similar anxieties and concerns. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

SuM

[AliciaBrad]

Originally Posted by Laina M.

Alicia, as a general rule counsellors can only breach confidentiality if they're concerned someone will hurt themselves or hurt others. However, the best thing for you to do to make sure is make an appointment, and ask them upfront. Say you're worried about confidentiality, and ask them to lay out for you exactly what they're mandated to breach for. They'll let know you how it works where you live.

Good luck!

OK, I'll do that. Hopefully, it doesn't just make them more suspicious of me.

Originally Posted by Hoonoo

I would think you protect your space with the little things like dentist because you could never protect yourself from the big thing, which was the abuse you are still getting from childhood. So first know it isn't your fault then spill all to a T. Only way.

Thanks, Hoonoo.

[quote=tinyrabbit;3133422]

Originally Posted by AliciaBrad

- Me hitting a child[/quote]

Could you clarify what you mean here? Is this recent/current or in the past?

I'm sorry about all you are going through.

I have a younger sister who is seven. I've probably smacked her on the arm about four times during her lifetime. The last time was a few weeks ago when I asked her to tidy up and instead she started throwing pens and pencils all over the room. I did it without thinking and got really freaked out immediately afterwards, being like "oh ****, don't cry, here, have a candy".
I really hate it with a passion when people hit children but I do it as well, and that really really frightens me.