[jbug]

I posed this question in chat last night but thought that I'd post about it to to get more thoughts on it.

I was in the psych hospital about 2 years ago and got to know one of the psych techs there named Dave. Well I was dismissed and didn't really think of him anymore until a few weeks ago. I was sitting in the student union at school and who walks in but Dave. He's going to the same school only in the nursing program. We have the same lunch hour so am in the student union at the same time. I find myself watching him out of the corner of my eye and wondering if he is watching me. Today I was sitting at my table and he walked by in a crowd of people and he waved at me. I'm not sure if I want to be friends with him or what. I'm sure its not a romantic interest because last I knew he had a serious boyfriend and I am in love with Rex.

Can we be friends legally? I'm not sure that I even want to be friends with him because he saw me at my lowest. He picked me up when I tried to fly down the hallway and fell miserably. We did share packs of cigarettes and a few laughs. He looked out for me and was concerned when I stayed in my room for days on end. He would come to my room and we would just talk or he would help me with my word puzzles. I'm glad though that he wasn't the one that had to search my room when it was revealed that I was cheeking my meds but he was there.

How do any of you deal with seeing your therapist, pdoc or anyone on your mental health team out in public?

Jbug

Yes you can be friends. he was not your therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist or medicaal doctor. Also even if he had been the professional in charge of your case it has been 2 years since he has been in charge of your case. here in the USA the majority of the USA ethics law time frame is that the client therapist relationship can turn over into a friendship one year from the date of the last therapy session. If by psych tech you mean therapist then check with your state board of certified and licensed clinical social workers to make sure because there are I think 5 states that require 2 years from the last therapy session.. in which case you are still in the clear because your post says you were hospitalized 2 years ago.

As for how do I deal withseeing my therapist out in public - I would wave and or say hi there. LL and I discussed this before when she say me at the library. I didn't notice her but she noticed me. I told her I have no problem with her coming up to me in public and sooner or later the two of us will end up seeing each other out in public anyway she sometimes shops at the same grocery store that I do.so like I told her if it happens it happens my friends all know I am seeing a therapist so no reason to hide it. Its usually those that are making a big deal over not being seen and so on in public by their therapists that people are going to notice just from watching the self conscious behavior. But no one would notice anything out of the ordinary by two people who stop shopping or researching at the library to say hi to each other.The more self conscious you behave the more conspicuous you are. besides Ive been as public as anything in the past why go secrative now. right. LOL

[Perna]

It sounds like he has a group of friends and I assume you have a few already? There's a difference between "friend" and "friendly." He waved, you do know one another, waving, stopping to chat a moment, etc. is going to happen! Who knows if he or you are interested in anything more yet? You have to go through the "getting to know" stage like any other friendship, you all knew one another from a different type of relationship. He doesn't know you out in the "world" and you probably don't know that much personal about him, normal friend knowledge, either. It's not a black and white, all or nothing thing where you either are or are not friends, it's a growth thing like anything else. You check out whether each of you wants to know/be more than acquaintances and go on from there.

[eskielover]

I had an experience with a psychologist that I was seeing. I was at the bottom of my feelings & was very suicidal. It was so bad that my pschologist was continually admitting me to the hospital because of what I was going through. The other part of my life was enjoying my horse dressage training. I went with my trainer to the local dressage club & joined it. Afew meetings later, my psychologist showed up. That was a very uncomfortable feeling. I didn't want anyone knowing what I was going through. We said hi, & after the meeting, she let me know that it was ok as long as we didn't discuss anything except horses & dressage. It ended up working out ok but was still tough on me because I was constantly dealing with my suicidal feelings.

Since then, I changed pdoc's & psychologists, but last year, I needed to find a psychologist to help me with the PTSD issues fror the trauma I went through because the psychologist I was seeing had some medical problems & couldn't see me for quite a while. I searched & searched for a psychologist that I could work with. I was desparate, so I decided to call up the psychologist I had seen before who knew me. She was willing to take me on as a patient. I was way over any suicidal feelings which was great, & we still had our horses in common. After the first experience of seeing her outside of the office, I realized that there was nothing wrong with that. While seeing her the last time, we ended up running into each other at a dressage symposium & chatted a bit about the symposium. It no longer feels that strange any more to see them outside of the office & there isn't anything wrong with that.

I don't know how it would be to see someone outside who I might be interested in as possibly more than a friend, but there is usually the 1 or 2 year law & after that, it is just like being with anyone else except that they know about the rough part or your life. It's up to you as to how comfortable you feel about that, but being friends is a good thing if you like the person.

Debbie