[Jeans and a T-Shirt]

I have a primary therapist, but had been working with another one for 'skills sessions' as well. (DBT etc) She recently left, and I had no idea it was going to be this emotional. I've worked with therapists who have moved on before, but it's never been this hard. It's a kind of grief that makes me feel silly and guilty for even having it. I thought since they were "just" skills sessions, it would be even less of a big deal. My therapist suggests that it's elicited emotions from not having a mothering figure and living in an emotionally and physically abusive home as a child. I've also been working with the trauma left from my childhood in the past couple of years. Though I've always had a diagnosis of MDD, the PTSD diagnosis is new to me. She's explored that maybe my body/mind are reacting to those losses or pains etc..
I can see how that makes sense on a lot of levels, but I'm also frustrated that it feels like the default explanation. I'm just really confused and the amount of pain that I'm feeling doesn't feel like anything else I've experienced as far as grief for a therapist. I knew it would be hard, but not this hard. I don't know, I just feel completely de-railed by the grief and really confused. Is this normal? Like I said, I've experienced a lot of goodbyes but they've never felt like this. How hard the past weeks have been are actually why I joined this community. Thanks for listening.

[DePressMe]

Jeans, I had a pdoc who was wonderful. I really, really missed him when I moved. It's been over 2 years and I still write him letters and journal about him. I think sometimes I just click with somebody and losing them is very difficult for me. This is unusual for me because like you, I've had a lot of goodbyes too. None hurt as much as this one....D.

[gayleggg]

I think that there are some people we make special attachments to and it's harder to let them go without grief. You are going through grief. I'm glad you have a therapist to help you. Glad you are on PC. You might want to check out the grief forum.
Gayle

[Perna]

Was the connection to the therapist also different for you, not like one you had had before? I remember the times a couple of my therapists (those two who meant the most to me) "got through" to me in a way no one else in my life ever had. I knew they heard/got me and had punched a hole in my shell in some way. It all worked out okay in the end for me.

[Jeans and a T-Shirt]

Originally Posted by Perna

Was the connection to the therapist also different for you, not like one you had had before? I remember the times a couple of my therapists (those two who meant the most to me) "got through" to me in a way no one else in my life ever had. I knew they heard/got me and had punched a hole in my shell in some way. It all worked out okay in the end for me.

Yeah, very much so. I felt very heard, even when challenged or during disagreements etc. I guess one of the differences was that everything was always out in the open, so experienced real trust for one of the first times. Thanks for the input, everyone.
jts