T session

lucky2001 · Sep 17, 2013, 12:51 PM

I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense. i'm still out of it. Therapy was really hard. She kept asking me about my experience with dissociation. I really don't like talking about it because i don't want it to happen when i'm with her. She kept pushing and pushing. At one point i felt really nauseous, started feeling disconnected, like i was in a fog,i kept staring at something. I could hear her talking but she seemed so far away. I wanted to run out of the room. She asked me to stay but i left because i just had to get out of here. I'm so angry that she kept on pushing even though she could see i was having a hard time. I'm also embarrassed that it happened in front of her. I just felt so weak and so poweless. Is it normal for it to happen during T? What do you do when it happens? I know it was probably stupid of me to leave when i was like this cause i had to drive back home and it was hard driving when i felt out of it.

Favorite Jeans · Sep 17, 2013, 01:10 PM

I'm sorry. That sounds really hard.

It's happened to me a few times but each time T was actively trying to help me stay grounded, not pushing me to move further when I said I felt uncomfortable. I'm not sure why your T would have done that. I think it's a red flag.

Do you specifically remember telling her to stop, that you were uncomfortable? (I ask because in that state of mind I sometimes I feel like i'm practically yelling something at the top of my lungs only to later be told by others that I was completely quiet.)

At any rate you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. It sounds like leaving felt like the only way to make her stop. You did what you needed to do in order to feel safe.

wotchermuggle · Sep 17, 2013, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky2001

I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense. i'm still out of it. Therapy was really hard. She kept asking me about my experience with dissociation. I really don't like talking about it because i don't want it to happen when i'm with her. She kept pushing and pushing. At one point i felt really nauseous, started feeling disconnected, like i was in a fog,i kept staring at something. I could hear her talking but she seemed so far away. I wanted to run out of the room. She asked me to stay but i left because i just had to get out of here. I'm so angry that she kept on pushing even though she could see i was having a hard time. I'm also embarrassed that it happened in front of her. I just felt so weak and so poweless. Is it normal for it to happen during T? What do you do when it happens? I know it was probably stupid of me to leave when i was like this cause i had to drive back home and it was hard driving when i felt out of it.

Maybe you could explain to her that it is too overwhelming to be pushed about the dissociation and it leaves you feeling unsafe when you leave. Ask her if a good middle ground would be to discuss it as far as you can, but when you feel it's too much, that you will tell her and either go more slowly or take a break from the discussion for the rest of the session.

lucky2001 · Sep 17, 2013, 02:05 PM

I don't exactly remember if i asked her to stop but it felt like she wanted to see me dissociate so she kept pushing. i tried really hard to hide it but at one point i couldnt. Ughh i feel really embarassed about it now. I'm usually really good at keeping it together during sessions. I just want to e-mail her and apologize

i feel like i made a fool of myself.

Favorite Jeans · Sep 17, 2013, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky2001

I don't exactly remember if i asked her to stop but it felt like she wanted to see me dissociate so she kept pushing. i tried really hard to hide it but at one point i couldnt. Ughh i feel really embarassed about it now. I'm usually really good at keeping it together during sessions. I just want to e-mail her and apologize

i feel like i made a fool of myself.

If anything I think she owes you the apology.

Wren_ · Sep 18, 2013, 08:11 PM

i've had it happen many times in T sessions ... I also know it can feel like you've done something wrong when it happens (i usually do), but you really haven't, and have nothing to be sorry about

i hope you can let your T know more about how her pushing was too much for you

purplejell · Sep 18, 2013, 10:43 PM

Dissociating happens for me a lot in therapy... I can understand why you feel embarrassed, but sometimes it's like an emergency shut off valve when your system is too overwhelmed. My therapist usually takes it as a sign that things are getting too much for me and she tries to back thing off a bit, help me get grounded. I think it is concerning what happened with your T and you might want to ask what her intention was. I think it's important in therapy to know you have some control of when things are too much and when to back off. Or it can feel quite unsafe.

lucky2001 · 01:32 AM

Thank you. I will talk to my T about it at the next session. She shouldn't have pushed me that hard, i ended up self harming to stop dissociation after i left my T's office. How do you guys stop dissociation when it happens? Is there any way to stop it before it happens? I tried to stop it from happening but i couldn't and the only way i can stop it when it happens is to SI :/

Wren_ · Sep 19, 2013, 01:38 AM

you can try seeing if any of the grounding techniques help before or during ... sometimes they might other times they still may come in handy

this post gives a lot of possible things to try
http://forums.psychcentral.com/204661-post11.html

lucky2001 · Sep 19, 2013, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigergirl

you can try seeing if any of the grounding techniques help before or during ... sometimes they might other times they still may come in handy

this post gives a lot of possible things to try
http://forums.psychcentral.com/204661-post11.html

Thank you. I'll def try them

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