Has anyone done this? Because of my erratic work history and managers moving on I don't have any referees for jobs. My T once asked if there was anything he could do to help me in the process of getting a job. This would be a help, but also a HUGE ask, i feel.

Do you mean "referral"?

If so, yes, my first therapist wrote a letter of referral for my college portfolio that was used to get my first teaching position. He was quite happy to write the letter. In his case, he ran the office of counseling and career services at my university, so this was not an unusual request for him.

No Not a written referral. We don't use those over here. It's about a person a prospective employer can ring to obtain a character reference in the absence of my manager work appraisal. It goes on my CV.

Still basically a referral, just not in written form, but through a phone conversation? We don't call the people we use as references referees here (that brings on images of football games). You're needing your T to serve as a personal reference, right?

I'd just ask your T if you could use him as a personal reference. He'll let you know if he feels okay about doing that or not.

[shezbut]

You're wanting to know if you can use your T as a personal reference for how you're doing at your job ~ is that correct?

Originally Posted by shezbut

You're wanting to know if you can use your T as a personal reference for how you're doing at your job ~ is that correct?

Basically Yes though I haven't worked since i was diagnosed, so thats 3 years. The only professional person who could comment on me is my T.

[shezbut]

I agree with Chris. Ask your T whether or not you may use them as a reference. Hopefully, they'll say "yes"!

Your T may, however, feel uncomfortable with this idea and say "no". Do you have any back-ups in case that does happen? Any volunteering during this 3 year period? If so, you could always ask the coordinator for a reference....Perhaps your T will also give you ideas on who they think could help you with this.

Best wishes to you!

Thaks Chris and Shezbut. I'll need to ring him now, oh the anxiety. I wonder if I should wait til my next session but the job application closes on the 4/9. maybe i can put references will be supplied upon application or something like that. If I wait til session and he says "no" we can discuss my reactions but if I ring and he says "No" I'll have to wait til the next session to discuss it.

I get asked to write letters of reference for employment and college admission all the time. On occasion it is through phone call, but most of the time it is written.

It is very rare that I decline to be a reference for a student, but it happens from time to time. On occasion as student will has who should really know better: they weren't terribly responsible as a student in my class, etc. I just let them know I have to be truthful on my references, and encourage them to think of a different teacher who would be able to show them in the best light. But like I said, it is very rare that I turn a reference request down.

If your T declines, it would more likely be that he feels that blurs the boundaries or puts your privacy at risk, but you'll just need to talk to him and find out how he feels about it to really know.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Has anyone done this? Because of my erratic work history and managers moving on I don't have any referees for jobs. My T once asked if there was anything he could do to help me in the process of getting a job. This would be a help, but also a HUGE ask, i feel.

I was thinking of asking T to be a reference for us if we choose to adopt; I think she would agree to this.

Your T would be asked in what capacity he knew you and you'd have to discuss what the situation would be after you finished therapy with him.

My t has told me several times if i need a reference for anything, if i adopt kids or need a job or whatever, she would write anything she needed to or talk to whoever she needed to in order to help me out and tell them good things about me. So just ask your t-- they may be willing. Cant hurt to ask!

Well, i did it. I haven't asked him yet, just sent a text saying I had a question that needs answering before next session and could he call me at his convenience. I had the worst panic attack during and after sending the text but I think I'm ok now. Just wait and see.

Well he rang back and said it probably wasn't appropriate. I think I'm ok with this. I understand the reasons why but i can feel tears in my eyes. I understand he wouldn't feel comfortable but I'm still a bit devastated.

Now I feel like I've irritated him or put him on thee spot. I feel guilty for asking him all because another therapist (not very ethical) gave me a reference. It's kind of like "Well he gave me one, why can't you"