update to todays session horrible horrible horrible

well it started out with processing past trauma due to present triggers then we started with the transference towards my group t ( which he couldnt show up) anyways she asked if any other feelings had developed and of course in all honesty i told her yes some romantic feelings were coming up but not that i wanted to have sex with the guy just romantic kind of the type when you know you are wanting to fall in love or something , anyways she then told me that we needed to process these transference feelings with a like 4 or more sessions but in the meantime i could not attend ptsd group anymore with my group t, she is going to schedule another session with my group t to update him on my newest feelings so i didnt attend my group today, but i did see my group t regardless and gave him a hint as to why i could not be in his group and asked him for a hug which he gave me and it felt so good i almost melted i wanted to hug him forever he said he would miss me too and he would get more info from my individual t i am mad and heartbroken help

oh sweepy that sounds so painful .i'm sorry that you cant go to your group

I just read your earlier post about your transference with your group T and was struck by your amazing courage and ability to discuss it openly in your group. It is something that I would not have been able to do. I am sorry that you took such a risk to have it turn out the way that it did.

It sounds like they have experience and understanding in dealing with these feelings. The point is not just to satisfy them, it is to use them in the therapy if possible. Like why are you susceptible to such feelings from a relative stranger? Did you not have kindness growing up, or now from the people you live with? The male t bygiving you a hug sounds like he understands.

Is that protocol for group therapy? I am quite shocked that you'd be kicked out by simply sharing your feelings. Do you know why? My understanding is that therapists are used to clients experiencing transference. To be expelled for honest normal feelings does not seem fair to me. In fact, to me, it seems quite cruel.

Who is to say that you will not develop the same transference for the next group T. These feelings stem from the same place.

hankster i grew up in a very dysfunctional and physically abusive family amongst other things we discussed the transference in individual session not in a group setting but i am really upset and heart broken

hi moxie for right now my individual t wants to process this individually and does not want me in any kind of group until this is understood and processed but i feel crushed as soon as i was done with individual i was not suppose to go to group but i went to see him anyway and pulled him out of group and gave him an update to my session as he was not able to attend today and then he said he would get more info from my t but i asked for a hug and he gave me one

i was floored i did not discuss this in group it was done in individual and my t was the decision maker once my transference turned stronger towards the romantic side and the fatherly side, the group male t only knew about the dad side of things he was suppose to know about the romantic side today but didnt show up, so when i left individual i went straight to group and pulled him aside and gave him a hint then asked for a hug i guess he will find out today

this was done in individual not in group i would die if i did this in group

I hate this transference thing i feel so crushed

I've never heard of being kicked out of any therapy due to transference!!! So sorry to hear this!!! What are your T's concerns???

my group t did not kick me out of his group in fact he said he would not but he did not show up to our scheduled session with my individual t at this point he only knew about my feelings for him as a dad, but yesterday i have individual therapy before group and so my t asked if any more feelings had developed for my group t and i said yes they shifted a little to the romantic side we processed a little and she told me it would be innappropriate for me to continue in group with him without processing these feelings as they could get stronger and more confusing thats how she made the decision, meanwhile group t had no clue as to why i did not show to group until i pulled him to the side yesterday

Even so, being pulled from group because of some romantic feelings? Processing them is good and all but I doubt it can be done in a few sessions--so your T wants you out of group until your feelings subside or when she understands your feelings?

Sorry, I just don't understand her logic. Transference is pretty common in therapy.

Transference is expected in therapy for it to work, this seems proposterous to me.
Sweepy I am so sorry this happened. I think they are handling this all wrong, it feels as though they are shaming you for expressing your feelings. The whole point in therapy is to be honest and for you to feel safe enough to express your feelings, sexual, romantic, parental the lot. This is not happening, they are punishing you and saying you need to work out the feelings with your individual t but that is not best for you. The best person to work out the feelings with is the person you have transference for.
Sweepy, I hope you don't blame yourself for any of this, you did nothing wrong and I am appalled by this.

yes growly cat she wants me out of group till i process them she feels its going to interfere in my trauma work and is causing me confusion but i feel different but i guess she knows best but in the meantime it was done so all of a sudden im crushed im feeling depressed like i am did something wrong she says she knows im mad at her but that its ok but i still like her though

thanks monalisa i do feel like i did something wrong like honesty didnt pay off she already scheduled my group t for a session with us my individual t and i , i am mad at my t and she says that is ok she said she is doing it in my best interest she thinks it is interfering with my trauma work and causing confusion for me which i do feel confused i still trust my individual t and care for her but i feel i am to blame and feeling kind of depressed im not going to forget my hug from my group t when i said bye to him that i could not be in group anymore i wasnt even supposed to do that but i did it anyway i hope i dont get in trouble for it

i feel kind of depressed and a little crushed and cant stop thinking of my group t and the hug we shared he told me he would miss me and i told him i would miss him poor guy doesnt even know i have romantic feelings towards him anyways i know i will see him again in a session with my individual t but it wont be the same, i have a crush on this guy and at the same time i love him like a dad and i was just drastically dropped from his group so suddenly it crushed me SIGHHHHH

Sweepy, I am so so sorry you're having to go through this. Everything I've read about therapy points to how common transference is. Although I haven't had romantic feelings towards my T, I have had HUGE attachment. But I felt free to share those feelings with her and she knew all about them. If I had have thought I'd be 'punished' for the feelings, I would never have been able to tell her about them nor have had the chance to work through them.

But, I know nothing about group therapy. Is it possible that the transference would have interfered with the work you needed to do in group? Would the romantic feelings have prevented you from attending to the PTSD work? Is group T not able to help you through your transference because it's GROUP therapy and because the focus of the group is different so romantic feelings not being able to be addressed?

I don't know the answer. For me it seems like your individual T could have helped you with the transference without pulling you from group. Can you ask her specifically why she felt it wasn't appropriate to attend group anymore? And maybe don't accept a vague answer like 'it's not good for you'.

Oh, and btw, why does individual T have the power to pull you from group?

Well although my individual t decision totally caught me off guard she was the one who referred me to ptsd group with this therapist which I been seeing for about five months now all I know is is she said I couldn't continue group and work on transference with the person I was having transference with my male group t will be in my near future sessions coming up I guess that's the way we will deal with it I don't even know how long this takes to go away or should I pretend it went away I just feel like a truck hit me