[unlockingsanity]

I'm currently locked in a difference of opinion with my therapist as to whether or not whether or not a client is engaging in attention seeking behaviour when they tell a therapist they are having issues with suicidal thoughts.

I want to figure this out but both of us are set in our opinions it seems.

I don't like to bring things like this up because a former T felt I was looking for attention when in reality, I just didn't want to be left alone with the thoughts.

Current T knows this. I just avoid talking about it at all because I don't want my current T to think that of me, because it is not representative of who I am.

How do you personally feel about it?

[stopdog]

I completely believe you can have suicidal thoughts and want to talk to a therapist about them without it being attention seeking. A therapist who thinks that every client with suicidal thoughts is seeking attention is not a therapist I would want to see.

[IndieVisible]

That's a case by case but we all should error on the side of safety! Certainly it could be used as a manipulative maneuver, but it can also be a cry for help too.

[Wren_]

suicidal thoughts are very real, painful, terrifying and exactly what should be shared with a therapist
and ... they require attention!

yes some could be wanting attention but many are not only seeking that but needing very real help; and fear of being judged that way can prevent some people sharing with their therapists with tragic consequences

[Perna]

I don't believe attention seeking behavior is wrong or bad or undesirable, etc. I just believe it needs to be recognized and used to help one's self. I did not have the words or ability to express my needs and would call suicide lines for help; technically speaking, that would be "attention seeking behavior". They would refer me and that would be a "plan" and I would know what to do "next" (call the agency/therapist and get an appointment, etc.).

I think we get some childish idea of negative behavior, only, when we hear those words and try to play keep-away from thinking we would engage in such behavior or that our behavior is such behavior. I think if one talks about or mentions suicide, one needs something from others and "attention" sounds good to me! It's a coping mechanism, something that helps us get (attention :-) an interaction with another who might be able to help us with our difficulties and feel better. It's a shorthand way of saying, "Hey, I really need some help here!" and it is in a language so your next door neighbor doesn't pop up and say, "Sure, what do you need?" Instead, you get a mental health practitioner who might have a clue?

However, your title mentions "thoughts". Those are idiocentric so why you have those thoughts would not necessarily correspond with why I am having them. I found my T's phone number in the library (out of state phone books) after a 10 year time apart in order to call her and make an appointment and was elated and then immediately felt compelled to look up and check out books on suicide! Bet you have not had a reaction like that? I think I was trying to get my own attention (I succeeded :-)

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

I'm currently locked in a difference of opinion with my therapist as to whether or not whether or not a client is engaging in attention seeking behaviour when they tell a therapist they are having issues with suicidal thoughts.

I want to figure this out but both of us are set in our opinions it seems.

I don't like to bring things like this up because a former T felt I was looking for attention when in reality, I just didn't want to be left alone with the thoughts.

Current T knows this. I just avoid talking about it at all because I don't want my current T to think that of me, because it is not representative of who I am.

How do you personally feel about it?

Do you believe that attention seeking is a bad and shameful thing?

A lot of phases therapists use sound like insults but are not meant to be. It took me a long time to learn that.

[pinkbutterfly]

If someone is having suicidal thoughts and IS attention seeking...they NEED something...quite obviously.

However, I have suicidal thoughts A LOT -- it is not attention seeking. My therapist asks me about them because I am not always forthcoming about them. In fact I have to chart the intensity of them daily. It's like they are ALWAYS there -- just varies in intensity. Sometimes I need to talk about them...sometimes I don't.

I do think it CAN be, but I don't think having them is automatically so.
That said, having suicidal thoughts is not "normal" and if one IS having them, they should make sure to talk to someone about it.

[A Red Panda]

Every single suicidal thought I've ever had has not been attention-seeking... as I never share it until after I've sorted it out and no longer consider it an issue. Years and years later is when I might talk about it with someone. If I was to talk about it with a T while it was on-going, it wouldn't be from wanting attention.. it would be from wanting to do what was expected of me: being honest.

[Miswimmy1]

I think that suicidal thoughts can definatley be non attention seeking. Actually, I think most of the time, they are completely real. Because at the time, it is what you are really feeling. It may not be rational, and it may not last, but at the time u reach out, it is 100% real.

I think that by reaching out, it shows that you have a level of trust in your therapist that deserves some respect. I think that any suicidal thoughts or threats should be taken with all seriousness, because it's better to play it safe than sorry.

I am also aware that there are some attention seekers out there, but really, with suicidal thoughts, I really think the therapist should give the patient at least the benefit of the doubt, because if the proper measures are not taken, and the patient was indeed suicidal, it is an irreversible act.

I was thinking while reading these responses...a lot of people don't even tell their Ts if they are having suicidal thoughts (I haven't with one of my Ts, T1...because I don't want to worry him.) My second T is awesome with wonderful energy, and I have been able to be more honest with him...but it has not been "attention-seeking"; it was more of a relief to be able to open up and share and feel safe.

Also, I know a lot of people are afraid of being locked up/put into a mental institution or hospital for having such thoughts; my T has said only if I have a "plan" and appear to be a danger to myself then would he have to act on that...I am nowhere close to that now, but it is honestly thanks to him.

I would think a lot of other behaviors would be more attention-seeking, like crossing the Ts boundaries, acting out in negative ways, etc.

[anilam]

In therapy we are paying s.o. to pay attention to us. Everytime I come to my T's room I expect that he pays his full attention to whatever I'm saying (good stuf/bad stuf equally). Attention seeking- what's so wrong with that? All ppl need some attention.

BTW, is it really helpful to debate this instead of WHY you are having these thoughts?

[growlycat]

[ThisWayOut]

I think attention seeking is not necessarily bad I'm and if itself. As many above have mentioned, it means you are looking to fill a need.
I think I also agree that other attention-seeking behaviors can be more blatantly negative. even if you are bluffing suicidal thoughts/intent only to a flurry of activity around yourself, you need to address the root of that action. What's causing the sudden need for attention? We put do much emphasis on attention-seeking and manipulation as being negative that we often forget to look at the causes of the behaviors. If that's all you ever found to work for getting your needs meet, them it makes sense that you would turn to that in times of distress. W while it's all very taxing to the system and your supports, maybe it's time to address learning how to get needs meet in socially acceptable ways? It's important to try to find out what needs the actions are meeting, and find healthier ways to meet them.

That being said, it's always prudent to address the thoughts before they turn into actions.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by anilam

In therapy we are paying s.o. to pay attention to us. Everytime I come to my T's room I expect that he pays his full attention to whatever I'm saying (good stuf/bad stuf equally). Attention seeking- what's so wrong with that? All ppl need some attention.

BTW, is it really helpful to debate this instead of WHY you are having these thoughts?

I think it's helpful because if my therapist is only going to see me as an attention seeker when I bring up these issues, I am not going to feel understood. If he can't understand me, then what's the point in discussing not only this, but other topics?