[shelbykay]

I see a T weekly to help me with depression and anxiety, and I'm considering seeing another T, in addition to my current T, specifically for help with an eating disorder. My current T doesn't know about the ED because I can't bring myself to talk about it. I have trust/abandonment issues, and we're working to get where I trust her enough to tell her about the deep secrets.

I would tell the new T upfront about current T, but I'm nervous to tell my current T about adding someone else into the mix. Part of me feels like I should give my current T a chance to help me with it, even though EDs aren't one of her specialty areas.

When seeing more than one T, should the Ts know about each other?

I should add, I know I should talk to my current T about it. Since she doesn't know about the ED, I would have to tell her about that AND seeing someone else. That thought overwhelms me. Advice?

[wotchermuggle]

I'd suggest you be open with your current therapist and tell her that you have some issues you'd like to work on but you think they might be out of her area. Ask her and see what she thinks. She might be the best source for a referral.

[Raging Quiet]

Hi, I had similar thoughts when I started therapy and found it hard to speak about my ED with my T. In the end I sent her a book about understanding ED's through the post with a letter which opened up a dialogue so I could start talking (and trusting her)

Seeing 2 T's can be very hard work: I agree with the above noter also xx

[Miswimmy1]

I have been down this road, and my advice is to talk about it with the t you have now. Get a sense about how she feels about it. Because I know that some professionals want to be exclusive, so to speak, with their patients. Having another therapist creates a triangle, and its so easy for miscommunication to happen, etc that most t's don't want to bother.

I did have a thought tho, and it might be completely off target, but do you think that wanting to find another t to help you with your ED is a way of avoiding talking about it with your current t? What makes you think that you won't have the same trust issues with a new t?

[shelbykay]

Thank you for your replies. I know the best thing to do is talk to my current T. She would probably be great about it - I just need to get the courage to spill it. For me, there's a lot of shame and embarrassment around the ED and I don't want my current T to think less of me...which, outside of my head, I have no indication she would.

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I did have a thought tho, and it might be completely off target, but do you think that wanting to find another t to help you with your ED is a way of avoiding talking about it with your current t? What makes you think that you won't have the same trust issues with a new t?

Yes! The main reason for getting a new T would be so I don't have to talk about the ED with my current T. I think I would have an easier (and I use that term very loosely) time opening up about the ED to someone who that's what they do - work with people with EDs.

Typing this out has helped me realize that I need to get out of my damn head. I'll continue working with my T on trust...and we'll get there ("there" being talking about the ED).

[growlycat]

It isn't unheard of to have two T's depending on the situation. Ethically and for insurance purposes, both need to serve separate purposes AND they need to know about the other.

I have two T's and it can be complicated but I am liking how it is helping me.
One is my longtime psychodynamic T and the other is a local cbt T I go to for health/anxiety issues. They spoke to each other on the phone, in the beginning after I signed permission/release forms. My longtime T and new T hashed out who would do what.

But you do have to make both aware and be sure to tell your insurance company that you see them for separate issues. (duplication of services will get you denied coverage)

[stopdog]

I see two separate psychodynamic therapists. I have told them I see other therapists, but they do not know specifically of each other and I do not speak to either of them about the other. I do not believe I had to tell them about the other one. I do not find it complicated. It works for me.

[feralkittymom]

I don't think the issue resides in any of the practical concerns. The problem is that keeping secrets has the potential to be undermining to the relationship, and that will further inhibit your ability to build trust.

It could very well be that your T doesn't treat EDs; mine didn't, and was very open about that (I had some transient problems with eating). Had I wanted to pursue it, he would have given me a referral for a consult. But you won't know whether she does or not without bringing it up.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by shelbykay

I should add, I know I should talk to my current T about it. Since she doesn't know about the ED, I would have to tell her about that AND seeing someone else. That thought overwhelms me. Advice?

Yeah, see. . . I don't know why you would want to borrow anxiety when you are not dealing with what you have? I would first tell the current T about the ED and see what becomes of that. It could be you don't need multiple T's. I know my T, when I got an additional one when she was on an extended vacation, did not want me to continue seeing the second one when she got back. I think it divides up one's energy and makes things more complicated, trying to remember what I told this one or the other and not the other or this, etc.?

If you cannot tell this T about your ED, why do you think you could tell a new T you don't know about it right off the bat? The telling/anxiety about telling thing is more important than the ED, the ED is mostly a "symptom" from some of this other stuff in your life? It looks discreet and straightforward but it's a can of worms, like every symptom can be. I would work on the stuff you have right now with the T you have right now until that doesn't/can't work.

[stopdog]

I don't think one has to tell a therapist anything - including the ed and or seeing another therapist for the ed. I find one therapist easier to talk to about certain things than the other and vice versa. I can see where talking to a different therapist about the ed could be much easier and beneficial. I have never had a problem remembering what I tell one versus the other - I tell them about the same thing = sometimes on different topics but I don't change my responses to suit them. My responses to similar questions are the same regardless of which therapist asks. Therapy is repetitious to begin with so repeating myself to either therapist is not a big deal to me or them. Plus it is not like they remember detail all that well themselves. It has not been complicated for me at all.