[Elektra_]

ur therapist actually cares about u or that they are just doing their job? do u think they do a good job when they really care?

You make 'Just doing their job' seem as if that would not contain caring.

[tinyrabbit]

What _Mouse said.

Either my T really cares or he's a superb actor.

[growlycat]

My main T says I can pay for his time but caring is something that he chooses to give.

[unaluna]

It probably depends on the t. When I was working, I cared very much about my work product and the people it affected. I think other people didn't care as much, based on what I later had to fix of theirs, or the results I saw. They just wanted to get the job done, completed, not worried too much about quality.

[Wren_]

my T is caring as part of his job; I wouldn't want to have a T who wasn't
he also cares about me - although it's taken a very long time for me to believe it and is still hard at times
a previous T once told me the same thing growlycat mentioned, that

I can pay for his time but caring is something that he chooses to give.

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

ur therapist actually cares about u or that they are just doing their job? do u think they do a good job when they really care?

I received mixed signals so I really don't know what to think anymore.

I do believe that if they really cared, it would help their client. Caring about one's job and quality of work does not necessarily result in a good outcome but I would imagine that, more times than not, it would.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

You make 'Just doing their job' seem as if that would not contain caring.

thats exactly what it meant.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by Michelle25

I received mixed signals so I really don't know what to think anymore.

I do believe that if they really cared, it would help their client. Caring about one's job and quality of work does not necessarily result in a good outcome but I would imagine that, more times than not, it would.

dunno. one i had she really cared about me.. like no one did but than she didnt put a limit in our relationship so things went south...

[stopdog]

I hope the woman just does her job and leaves caring about me out of it. I do not think they do a good job when they really care. I suppose it may be possible to be adequate at the job and care if they must, but I do not think the two are essentially connected.

[granite1]

i don't know if my T cares about me or not . i do believe she is good at what she does .true fully i don't know if i would believe it or not if she said she cared about me or not . it is probably best she keep however she feels to herself

[1stepatatime]

My T genuinely loves her work...she has told me this many times,and I believe her. NOW...as far as my T caring about me...on an emotional level I flip flop back and forth...because it is my insecurities that hinders me from feeling the care that she gives, I mean REALLY feeling it. And I want it so bad. Sometimes just when I think "yeah...she really does care about me...my F'n insecurities mess with me.

[purplejell]

I feel like it's genuine caring from my therapist. I asked her once if who she is in therapy is her "real" self... or a role she plays. She said it is the best version of herself... I liked that.

[healingme4me]

This is a good one.....

Does my T(or T's) care about me? And then I ask, do I care about them? Am I more than just a case file? Do my others doctors care about me? Do I care about them? Are they just T's and Dr's to me? Hmmmm.....

Are they worthy of my concern? Am I worthy of their concern? Hmmmm.....

Do they ever consider a thought about me, outside the appointment? Do I consider a thought about them, outside the appointment?

Hmmmm...

*pensive*

[Victoria'smom]

I know my T cares about me and thinks about me out of session. I flip flop on how much I care about her.

I reckon it is a bit of both. They have to care otherwise they could not do a good job, but they cannot care too much as they could not do a good job.

[anilam]

I agree with Stopdog, I need him to do his job not care (at least not care much). Caring about s.o. can cloud your judgement.

Originally Posted by Elektra_

ur therapist actually cares about u or that they are just doing their job? do u think they do a good job when they really care?

I'd say it is both. Our T does his job very well while caring a great deal for us. T has known our family now for over 8 years, and has been a source of great support during many a crisis. He has certainly gone beyond the call of duty to assist us, check on us, and attend to us at times.

[Elektra_]

well... for me to care about someone i have to feel i matter for them otherwise i give what i get.. soo as therapists, at least in my experience, dont share their lives its difficult to care about someone u dont know anything about...but yeah i like them so i care. this one i dont like and think she couldnt give a **** about me. theone i had before her showed empathy (sincere) and would be available when i needed to call her caz i have no one to talk to. this one not even replies to my emails (i stopped at 2nd time caz apparently im talking to a door) and whenever i go to touchy subjects she puts on the serious face and the "i understand" look in her eyes but u can see she doesnt feel ANYTHING!!! anyhow i cant change caz its free and was my last chance.. just wanted to know how u guys feel. thanks

[FeelTheBurn]

I used to go round and round with myself on this topic. I felt that I could say without a doubt that my therapist cares very much about me, and didn't hesitate to share it. But I couldn't say anything with confidence about how the woman outside of therapy felt about me, if I registered on her radar outside of work.

I have learned to not let myself get hung up on that. I know that, in the room, she is very invested in my health and happiness, and I feel enveloped in love from the moment I walk in to the end of the hour. I like the idea that purplejell mentioned, that I get "the best version of her." That is more than I have ever received from anyone, and it is indeed "good enough."

[A Red Panda]

I believe that my T cares as part of his job. We haven't been together long enough for me to believe that he actually cares about ME. And I fully believe that whenever it is that we part, it will be a cease to care as I am not longer his job.

Then again... as I get to know him more maybe my opinion on that will change. After all... I'm a teacher. I'm paid to do my job which involves caring for my students. But I care ABOUT them a great deal and that doesn't stop after the year is over.

[murray]

I struggle with this a lot as well. Sometimes I feel that my T cares and sometimes not. The thing that I find comforting about my T is whenever he mentions any other client, past or present, he sounds so warm and caring and he gets this look that makes me think that he has such fondness for the person. One time I came into session and T was smiling and seemed very pleased. He told me that he had just gotten off the phone with a former client that had suffered so much in her young life and he worked with her for quite a while years ago. Well she had called to let him know that she was healthy and happy and having a baby. He was so genuinely happy to hear this that it reassured me that he truly cares about the people that he works with, even years later.....unless I am in a bad place and I see it as an indication that he cares about the other more worthy people that he works with....

[tinyrabbit]

My T has shown that he cares. I also think he does the job for good reasons - he said he feels privileged to be with people intimately in their struggles.