Yall have really helped me with the first question I had and I have to thank yall for the warm welcomes I got on my thread since I'm completely new to this forum!
I just want to post this thread as a completely open discussion on what others in therapy think about being able to relate to your T. Does your T open up to you about their lives and what they have been through or go through to help relate to you? Are they pretty much an open book with you and do they mind if you ask them questions about them or things they have told you about them?

My T is pretty much an open book...she doesn't cross lines or anything...but our sessions are more like two friend's just talking at times. We are always working on me, but what I mean is she has no problem opening up to me about things she has been through and her struggles and her life in general. I have to say that really works for me over a T that would be the opposite of that...but to each their own of course. There is no right or wrong here. After our last session I told her in the hallway that I had questions for her that I was afraid to ask during session about things she had briefly told me about because I didn't want her thinking that I was trying to not talk about me...and she cut me off and said "please ask". She told me that I can ask her anything. I'm glad I put that out there though because now it prompts me to ask her the questions I have. I just feel that what I want to ask her about is a really personal subject to bring up, even though she shared it with me before. I want to ask her about it though because her sharing what she went through relates directly with what I have been through and I believe if I knew more like how she got through that, processed it, and what she did that it could start to help me with processing what happened to me.

[growlycat]

I know a great deal about my psychodynamic T, even a bit about his own issues, why he became a therapist, some of his personal life even some about his time in analysis. He self discloses a fair amount, which I like.

CBT t has only self disclosed minor things when they are related to something I'm talking about. But he wears a wedding ring, a school ring, his car has his ivy league plates on them--so he doesn't "hide" stuff either. Even some of his consulting presentations pop up in google searches. ahem, not that i'm a stalker lol. just curious!

Growlycat, You have googled your T too?? I have done that as well. Interesting findings. I have seen you post on other threads and I have been wondering from reading your other posts what CBT stands for and I was wondering if you see two different kind of therapists because I think that is what I'm getting from your posts but I want to make sure by just asking you directly. (Sorry for my slowness! lol)

[growlycat]

Kneehole-thanks for asking!!!

I have had the same psychodynamic t for a very very long time. I had to move to the opposite coast for my job so we do phone sessions now.

However, there are other things I wanted to work on that my main t seems to have trouble helping me with. So about 6 months ago I started seeing a local therapist that practices a loose form of "cognitive behavioral therapy"

A way I sum up the difference--main t focuses on my past, cbt is more now-and-future oriented. cbt guy is very coach-like and has practical advice, not likely to delve into my childhood etc. See this...
CBT vs Psychodynamic Psychotherapy - Comparison Summary

Oh boy you must've just missed all the posts we had recently all about google stalking--just put those 2 words in the pc search engine and you will know what I mean!

[tinyrabbit]

My T has sometimes answered questions and sometimes not. I think it's fine to ask.

[anilam]

Yep, he does- I know a lot about him- fact wise, I don't think he has/had some serious issues to deal with in his personal life but maybe he's just not telling me.

[A Red Panda]

My T shares little bits and details sometimes. It's definitely how he's trying to build up trust with me - it's not like he's going on about who he is or stuff, but he does the same thing I do with teaching: leading by example and through his own experience. I appreciate the effort and it has been what helps me try to trust him.

[granite1]

my T says very little about herself and I think I like it that way. I have been on the receiving end of loose to no boundaries at all and it was a mess

[Aloneandafraid]

My T also says very little (actually nothing!) about herself but I think it would help me if she would reveal something? I just feel I am talking to a completely blank slate. I wish I could ask her some questions about herself but when I tried it once before (when we were talking about TA in relation to parent/child) she looked so cross and answered my question with a one word answer (I asked if she had siblings), her reaction shocked me and I am afraid to "go there" again although I think her perspective would be really useful. I realise her style is client-orientated but it seems too much that way?! I just feel super sensitive about the whole T experience & no-one knows I go so it is all secretive and scary. I have just told her about my eating "stuff" but I still don't get any empathy which just makes me feel even more alone, plus there is a strict no contact outside session rule which is hard too.

Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid

My T also says very little (actually nothing!) about herself but I think it would help me if she would reveal something? I just feel I am talking to a completely blank slate. I wish I could ask her some questions about herself but when I tried it once before (when we were talking about TA in relation to parent/child) she looked so cross and answered my question with a one word answer (I asked if she had siblings), her reaction shocked me and I am afraid to "go there" again although I think her perspective would be really useful. I realise her style is client-orientated but it seems too much that way?! I just feel super sensitive about the whole T experience & no-one knows I go so it is all secretive and scary. I have just told her about my eating "stuff" but I still don't get any empathy which just makes me feel even more alone, plus there is a strict no contact outside session rule which is hard too.

It seems like you would benefit more from a more open T that you could connect with easier. I hope that maybe you can tell your T exactly what you put in this post because I believe that would help you to get it out...but if she still doesn't respond in how you need her to after that or you don't feel like you can go there with her, have you thought about maybe finding a new T?

[stopdog]

The ones I see do talk some about themselves. I don't really have an urge to know about them and I have not found that them giving me information about them is particularly useful to me.
But if you think having a therapist tell you about themselves would be useful, then perhaps having the conversation about why would be good. At least then you would know their theoretical bent on the situation and could decide if you needed to find one who was able to be more useful to you.

My t is an open book as well. It helps a LOT.

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

My t is an open book as well. It helps a LOT.

Yeah, I can't imagine me staying in therapy if she wasn't as open as she was or having a T that wasn't as open as this.

[Healingchild]

A T that I was seeing did reveal a little bit about herself and I like that. It makes the relationship feel more equal and so I feel more closer to her. I don't want my T to tell me a whole bunch about herself though. I have another T I might be seeing and she told me I can ask her anything. She doesn't mind.