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#1
Sep 29, 2013, 05:57 PM
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I realize I would be devastated if she just let me go, which I think is what would happen. After all, I'm an adult, free to make my own choices. Then again, I would run faster if I looked back and realized she was holding her hand out to bring me back. What is UP with that?! A total contradiction in one fell swoop. Yet this is how I feel.
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#2
Sep 29, 2013, 06:39 PM
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At first, I pictured you as a balloon, your T just opening her fingers and letting you drift off?
 I would only run faster if T were chasing after me, calling for me to "Come back! Come back!"
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Sep 29, 2013, 09:21 PM
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Quote:
Do you think you fear your therapy with her because of how hard it is dealing with things?...like that's why you would fear her asking you back? but would be scared to lose her if she didn't try and get you back? It just sounds like you may be upset with both sides because of something/things you may fear. I'm only speculating off of what you said and my own experiences...not really all that sure. Your contradictory feelings may not make sense to you but they are real and that's all that matters. I have felt the exact same way with my T. You are not alone  And when I thought she didn't care anymore and that she wouldn't pull me back...she did...I wanted to bolt and run as far as I could. I realized I'm only fighting with myself and the progress in therapy. It had nothing to do with her 
__________________
"And heaven knows, heaven knows I tried to find a cure for the pain. Oh my Lord, to suffer like You do it would be a lie to run away." Dx: Bipolar 2, Anxiety Disorder Rx: Lithium Carbonate ER 1,200mg, Lamictal 150mg, Klonopin 0.5mg, twice daily, Haldol 10 mg, twice daily, Geodon 80 mg |
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#4
Sep 29, 2013, 11:49 PM
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Well both are fantasy positions in reality a professional T would wk towards an ending.
Our daydreaming about just leaving is a way of trying to reconcile feelings of rejection. Talk about it. That way you will intergrate those feelings. Of rejection and fear of being smoothered |
 deepestwaters40
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