[SingDanceRunLife]

Today I had one of those sessions that I left feeling no better, and possibly worse than when I went in. I actually really wanted to cry as I was leaving.

I mean, it wasn't a bad session, and actually, both T and I said things that needed to be said and that was good, but in a way, I also felt myself putting up a block and not taking things that extra step to the next level, and I wish that I hadn't done that. I hate when I do that. So next week, I think I'm gonna bring in a letter for T to read because that always helps us go deeper because when I write to her, I am 100% raw and honest and don't hide anything. I am getting better though with just talking. I'm also getting better with taking more responsibility. Actually, today my T said she was really happy that I wasn't making excuses for not eating yesterday and just owning up to the fact that I chose to do that rather than just saying I couldn't eat because [fill in the blank]. I did say I couldn't eat what was being served at breakfast and lunch at work because it had gluten, BUT I also said that on my break I could have gone to get food from the grocery store down the block but chose not to. And because the gluten intolerance is a medical thing, that is an excuse my T is okay with me giving, especially when I follow it with saying that I did have an opportunity to get something that I could eat, I just didn't take it.

So I guess T is doing something after all. Even though it feels like I taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back (or sometimes 2 steps forward, 2 steps back), I am slowly changing and becoming a more balanced, better adjusted person.

[CantExplain]

Looks like you are making progress. I'm sorry it's so painful.

[SingDanceRunLife]

It's just one of those things...you never want to leave T feeling worse than when you came in. But at this point in my life, I need T more than ever to keep myself sane and stable, so even if it sucks at times, I just have to keep going and working through things.