[Alishia88]

Well, the forgetfulness of my therapist has always bugged me a little, but sometimes she surprises me with things that she remembers and I figured, well this is just the way she is.
But this is really really weird.

So I have sports injury on my foot and had it for a few months now.

Over this period of time, we talked a lot about it. And I swear I´ve had the exact same conversation with my therapist over and over and over again.
She says: Well, you are with the insurance company XX, aren´t you?
Because they pay for 6 hours of ostheopathy and........
Me: No, I´m not, I´m with YY.
She: Well, but maybe they pay for it too. You should call them and ask. Because XX pays for 6 hours and....

The first few times, it was a little weird she didn´t remember we talked about it just last week. After some time in June or so I told a friend about it, and she joked that I had a therapist with amnesia.

Last week it was the same thing again. "Well, you are with the insurance company XX, aren´t you?" "No? Well, you could call your insurance company and asked if they pay for it, too."

(I´ve called them a while ago and find out that my insurance company doesn´t cover it, by the way.)

And I just started to laugh and say, "no, we´ve had this a bunch of times before."

But I could tell, she couldn´t remember.

I feel very weird having the same conversation over and over again.
I mean, it´s not a big deal and it´s not important that she remembers what insurance I´m with.

But it makes me feel like she´s not really "there"

[FeelTheBurn]

Yep! It's weird.

If it comes up again, I'd be even more direct about it, if you feel that you can. "We've had this exact conversation many times, is there something I should know about your memory? Because it's starting to feel like you aren't really listening to me here." Who knows, it might be one of those things where she's great at remembering emotional states, events, history, that sort of thing, and no good at the more surface stuff. But being regularly reminded that she's not tuning in on something simple like that would make me uneasy, too. Call her on it directly.

[stopdog]

I would write it down, hand it to her, and tell her to put it in the file and to review the file before the appointment.

[kaliope]

it is not weird, it reflects on her professionalism. it is like you said, it makes you feel like she doesn't listen to you. if she is not hearing you about your insurance, how can you feel confident that she is really listening to the more important aspects of your therapy. there needs to be a trusting relationship between therapist and client and you just cant have that if you do not feel she is listening. as others have said, do you feel you can confront her on this? it is something she needs to know is bothering you. take care.

[Alishia88]

Originally Posted by kaliope

it is not weird, it reflects on her professionalism. it is like you said, it makes you feel like she doesn't listen to you. if she is not hearing you about your insurance, how can you feel confident that she is really listening to the more important aspects of your therapy. there needs to be a trusting relationship between therapist and client and you just cant have that if you do not feel she is listening. as others have said, do you feel you can confront her on this? it is something she needs to know is bothering you. take care.

thank you for your help and answers!

Well.. I´ve thought about confronting her about it too and I think I´m almost pushed to the point that I will.
Because I´ve had this bothering me for quite a while now and I think there´s some resentment or maybe even anger or something inside of me because of it and I think that´s why I should probably tell her.

Also, I´ve noticed that I think I hold back with things to tell her because, I feel like "eh, why bother.. she might not remember it anyway."
So that cannot be good. I think if I knew she was more interested or involved, I´d probably WANT to tell her all kinds of news about my life. I think.

There´s also a part of me that doesn´t want to critize or find any bad point in her for some reason. I´ve seen sooo many therapists before her and they were all so much worse than her so I don´t want to drive this one away or make the relationship bad...

[FeelTheBurn]

There´s also a part of me that doesn´t want to critize or find any bad point in her for some reason. I´ve seen sooo many therapists before her and they were all so much worse than her so I don´t want to drive this one away or make the relationship bad...

I completely understand that feeling. The problem is, if you're having feelings and starting to hold things back because of this, the relationship is already going "bad." You can't get good work done if you don't believe your T is really tuned in to what you're saying.

If you want to be really diplomatic, start the conversation with what you said about wanting to work with her. Praise her and then mention your concerns. If she's worth her salt, she'll hear you and address it. If she reacts at all negatively, you're better off punting anyway because that nagging doubt won't do anything but get louder.

You deserve to feel heard and have trust in your T. Good luck!

[unaluna]

She probably just remembers that this one insurance company pays for 6 hours because she or someone in her family used it. So you could think of it as she sees you as part of her family. Okay so I hear stopdog going ack ack ack over there, but it could be seen as confusedly sweet. Or maybe I need a nap?!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by hankster

She probably just remembers that this one insurance company pays for 6 hours because she or someone in her family used it. So you could think of it as she sees you as part of her family. Okay so I hear stopdog going ack ack ack over there, but it could be seen as confusedly sweet. Or maybe I need a nap?!

I can see you going zzzzzz while stopdog goes ack ack ack and I think, How the hell does someone get a T that cares so much and considers a person part of the family....while poor little me only gets another cold distant analyst?

The more things change...

[HealingTimes]

How old is she?

[EmilysZoo]

Yes, I wonder how old she is too. My mother has been having memory issues for a bit now and my first thought was that maybe your therapist is beginning down this path. Dementia can start earlier than people think.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I can see you going zzzzzz while stopdog goes ack ack ack and I think, How the hell does someone get a T that cares so much and considers a person part of the family....while poor little me only gets another cold distant analyst?

The more things change...

Yabbut mcl you have me - doesnt that make up for ennything??

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by hankster

Yabbut mcl you have me - doesnt that make up for ennything??

Oy does it evvvvvvah!

[Alishia88]

I´d say in her mid-50ties, isn´t that too young for dementia?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I´d say in her mid-50ties, isn´t that too young for dementia?

Seriously, not too young for Alzheimer's. Early onset I think tho.

That sounds so frustrating!! It would hurt my feelings if that happened to me. If she is in her fifties it could very well be memory loss, or alzheimers. It happens. I am only 40 and i cant believe the huge things i forget these days!! I sometimes forget a sentence i said about one second after i said it- its ridiculous

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I´d say in her mid-50ties, isn´t that too young for dementia?

Kinda young for SENILE dementia but you can have DEMENTIA at any age, folks