[Freewilled]

What is wrong with me?! The past two or three sessions I have wanted to show my T a picture of my son - because he is so important to me I guess - and I cannot, for the life of me, seem to make myself do it. I swear, I got so incredibly anxious in the waiting room today, I finally just convinced myself to do it next week instead. I am ridiculous! Not asking for anything here except to get out my frustration and maybe someone can relate or tell me why I'm like this /:

[Melody_Bells]

Freewilled, you are just doing your best to share something really important with your T, it's very natural you would be anxious, since this is a big part of your life and you probably wish to feel supported and understood when showing the photo. You will probably eventually manage to show him, when you feel OK and ready! I'm sure your T will want to hear all your feelings about this.

[tinyrabbit]

I don't think there's something "wrong" with you. I think it's interesting that you feel this way as I've had similar issues with a total inability to show my T a picture of my husband. I think it's to do with keeping different parts of my life separate. I don't want him to relate to me as a wife, but as a wounded child. Maybe you're afraid showing him the picture will make him see you differently?

[lucky2001]

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with you. My T has been asking me to show her some pics of my family and i couldn't as well :/

[granite1]

(((freewillwd))) my son is also very important to me and it took me years to bring in pic of him for her to see. I felt scared that she might reject him or not treat him as if he is anything to me .it was a big risk that she might just say cool and push it aside. I brought maybe 4 pic of him through out his life .she did not do what I thought at all .we spent the session talking about him and his pic and who he is. it was nice . I would say when you are ready go for it

[pbutton]

I have all sorts of things that seem like a good idea to show or discuss. Then I get in the room and feel like it is the stupidest, neediest, grossest, most pointless idea anyone has ever had.

[PeeJay]

It feels so vulnerable to share something important to you.

It's easier not to than to risk that the T won't get the reaction just right.

In the past, I asked. I said, "I brought some pictures. Is it ok if I showed them to you?"

And T got a bright look on her face and said, "I'd LOVE to see the pictures!" And then she leaned over and really looked at them and remarked on them and said my kid was cute. It was the perfect reaction.

I feel warm just thinking about it!

I hope you get this reaction too!!!

Edited to add:
I wonder if you had people who were dismissive of things when you were small? I picture a little kid who is proud to show off a drawing to an adult, and the adult scoffed or seemed bored. That would be devastating to a kid.

[Freewilled]

"I wonder if you had people who were dismissive of things when you were small? I picture a little kid who is proud to show off a drawing to an adult, and the adult scoffed or seemed bored. That would be devastating to a kid."

It's possible...I don't have much memory of those kinds of things when it comes to my childhood. I know I felt a bit invisible though. Thanks for the insight!



**Thanks everyone for your responses. I know I sounded rather attention-needy in my original post, but I really feel like something is wrong with me. Sometimes it seems like everyone else around me appears to have no trouble doing everyday things like showing someone a picture, and yet I can't. I feel like I regress in the therapy room too and it's quite alarming....thanks again

[ECHOES]

It is fear of some kind and maybe if you talk about this, about wanting to show her the picture, but not allowing yourself to do that, it would be very enlightening.

You are you and no one else. Beware of comparing yourself to (what you think you know of) others

[dizgirl2011]

Hey,

I don't think you are messed up at all but I wonder what you are afraid of? Her reaction? Feeling vulnerable? Not getting the response you want? Also what is the response you want? What's the worst reaction you could get? Just a few things to ask yourself but I am sure your therapist will be glad you shared it with her/him