[mcl6136]

So I met a T this weekend while at a party. It was a low key kind of get together, so I had a chance to really engage this T in a fairly long chat.

I found the discussion really disturbing. The zombie tone of his voice was the tone and inflection that any past therapist would have used -- while I was in the offices, talking about my problems!

I've done therapy on and off all my life, and the uber-clear, stilted kind of sleepy and calming way of talking....was exactly the way this T was talking to me....AT A PARTY, for Crissakes.

Eyebrows raised. Concerned look. Neutral reactions. The "reflect back what I hear...." the "how did that feel when that happened?" open ended questions....were all there.

But this was supposed to be a social gathering!

Does anyone else think that's kind of icky?

[Asiablue]

Yeah it is a bit icky. But that prescribed "reflect back what i hear" crap never sat well with me as a client either.

[mcl6136]

of course, this may just be because I self identify as a real nutter!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Yeah it is a bit icky. But that prescribed "reflect back what i hear" crap never sat well with me as a client either.

hahahahha!!! I think I have a few friends who try to pull this too!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Yeah - it's a little weird! However, it's possible the T was uncomfortable talking to strangers at the party and fell back on their professional demeanor as a shield. Or maybe they're just weird and can't separate the way they interact on and off the job.

When I'm uncomfortable, I fall back into 'attorney mode' pretty easily.

[mcl6136]

I think this theory makes a lot of sense!

[learning1]

I think it's to be expected that the way one learns to communicate in one's profession influences how one knows how to communicate in the rest of life. With some therapists I've known personally, I think they take the detached, nonjudgmental perspective too far in the communication in their personal life. That attitude isn't very genuine in their personal life, where they're going to have to make judgments about how they're going to live and interact with people, not get paid to have the person show up.

[FeelTheBurn]

It also depends on the topic of conversation.

If the convo starts, "Oh, you're a therapist?! Tell me, what do you think of this? Blah blah blah..." it might be easy for someone to kick into work mode and start speaking like a T. (Not implying that's what you did, mcl, just an example.)

And, like learning1 said, if you spend all day communicating in a very specific style, and your training and practice has shaped your mind in a specific way, it's not unlikely that you're going to carry that with you. I know a few attorneys, and they all speak like...attorneys. I have a relative who's a doctor, he can be very brusque and to-the-point in conversation. There has to be a good amount of alcohol and an interesting conversation before the "real" person comes out to play.

I think it's an occupational hazard.