It was strange. I was more nervous than usual, my heart was pounding. Her house was beautiful and secluded and surrounded by lovely trees. I knew where she lived but always wondered what it was like inside. I liked the way t had the room set out! It was really cosey and I felt safer there than in her office. At one stage I nearly fell asleep. The only problem is that now I want to move in with her. It is making my transference worse because as I was sitting there I imagined her being a mom to her kids and it hurt so much my eyes started to well up and I couldn't tell her why.

[Asiablue]

So glad you feel safe there! Maybe the transference will be good to work out since there's obviously hurt there?

[Nerak67]

I had them same experience when my t mived to a home office

[rainbow8]

I understand your feelings. Why is it that you ended up at her house? Will therapy always be there now? Sorry if I've missed some of your threads from being out-of-town.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I had something similar when I first started going to T's house. Especially her new house where she lives now. I feel so much more relaxed and safe there and she is kind and welcoming, making me cups of tea And it's hard to leave at the end of the session now. It never used to be hard, normally I was so anxious I couldn't wait to get out. But now...because I feel so at ease there, I just want to stay, just hang around, just watch her cooking dinner or doing whatever she is doing. The end of the session is always a wake up call about what this relationship is and is not.

It's great that you feel safe at T's house. And sorry to hear about the transference feelings, I have them strongly too. And I don't know the answers yet. I hope your therapy continues well with her

[tinyrabbit]

I think it's better to get this stuff out and on the table so you can work with it. It's hard, but the hard stuff was in there somewhere if it could be brought out - so maybe this will speed up your healing in some ways.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

So glad you feel safe there! Maybe the transference will be good to work out since there's obviously hurt there?

I am scared of the feelings. My own mother treats me like I am her worst enemy and t she has so much respect for her children. I am scared that I will end up feeling worse.

Originally Posted by Nerak67

I had them same experience when my t mived to a home office

sorry

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I understand your feelings. Why is it that you ended up at her house? Will therapy always be there now? Sorry if I've missed some of your threads from being out-of-town.

Therapy will always be there now as her work is changing and she wont need to rent out a room anymore Rainbow. She only told me last week that we will be moving to her house but not why until I asked her today. I asked her was she moving away and she said not a chance.

Originally Posted by ScrewedUpMe

I had something similar when I first started going to T's house. Especially her new house where she lives now. I feel so much more relaxed and safe there and she is kind and welcoming, making me cups of tea And it's hard to leave at the end of the session now. It never used to be hard, normally I was so anxious I couldn't wait to get out. But now...because I feel so at ease there, I just want to stay, just hang around, just watch her cooking dinner or doing whatever she is doing. The end of the session is always a wake up call about what this relationship is and is not.

It's great that you feel safe at T's house. And sorry to hear about the transference feelings, I have them strongly too. And I don't know the answers yet. I hope your therapy continues well with her

So sorry you have felt like this too. it feels like I am looking at heaven through a window with only a glimpse of how a real family operates.
It is harder to leave at the end, t s house is so lovely and she had a candle burning that I bought her last year she said she only burns it on special ocassions which I thought was nice of her to remember I bought it for her.

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I think it's better to get this stuff out and on the table so you can work with it. It's hard, but the hard stuff was in there somewhere if it could be brought out - so maybe this will speed up your healing in some ways.

I never thought if it like that TR. Therapy is hard and if it isn't it isn't worth doing

[Wren_]

((((mona))))
I wondered if you had been there yet ... so glad to read your update

is the office separate to the rest of the house or could you see in like you wondered about?

I hope next time you can talk to her more about the move and the intensifying feelings so she can help you with them

Originally Posted by tigergirl

((((mona))))
I wondered if you had been there yet ... so glad to read your update

is the office separate to the rest of the house or could you see in like you wondered about?

I hope next time you can talk to her more about the move and the intensifying feelings so she can help you with them

It is in the main house but she has signs on her kitchen and sitting room saying private. I am glad it wasn't like the physical massage t you went to and just a curtain seperated you from the rest of the house.
One thing struck my about ts house was a huge deer head hanging from the wall, it gave me the creeps and is a very unusual piece here in Ireland.
T had lovely candles and smells all over her house. I could have stayed there all night.
i don't know if I can talk to her about those, I wish i could though. Thanks for the reply tigergirl

[Wren_]

i wish you could also ... because it would probably help

not sure I would like the deer head hanging like that especially in a therapy situation

so if you could see the kitchen and sitting room that doesn't sound like it is that separate?

Well it's not really that seperate. You have to walk all the way through the house but all the doors were closed. I knocked on the outside door and she told me to just come straight in because the door is always open. It's a huge house for someone who lives alone.
I worry about t being there alone.