[Alishia88]

How much percent would you say do you talk in therapy and how much does your T talk?
I´m just interested. I used to go to one that would talk at least 60 or 70 percent of the time himself and I once went to one who almost didn´t say anything at all and let me talk most of the time.

I feel like I don´t get to talk enough in my therapy , my T talks more than 50 percent I´d say, so I´m interested to see what it´s like for you guys!!

[growlycat]

With main T-- I talk 70 percent of the time

CBT T, he talks a lot, maybe up to 50% of the time

[BlessedRhiannon]

It depends on what the topic is and what I need from T that particular day. Sometimes I need more feedback than others. I'd say in a regular session that she talks maybe 20% to 30% of the time. I've had a few sessions where she talked significantly more, but those were sessions where I asked for her feedback and needed her to give me more information and speak more.

It's tough to gauge - I know that I do most of the talking, but it is more like a conversation with T than anything else, so she participates, even if it's just to acknowledge what I'm saying or offer a brief word of insight or point out a pattern.

[RTerroni]

It seems like I talk a lot, and my Therapist talks very little

[stopdog]

I don't particularly want the woman to talk unless I have asked her a question or unless she is asking me one.

60% me - 40% XT
80% me - 20% T2

to soon to tell with young T...

[Alishia88]

thanks for your answers. I noticed that some of you have 2 Ts. How come?

I always found this interesting because I think you can profit from both CBT and talk therapy in very different ways.

But many people say it´s not a good idea to have 2 Ts..

[purplemystery]

I'd say 60-70% her, though she'd like me to be the one talking this much. I don't really say enough, so she's kind of forced to.

When I am disclosing really difficult stuff for me, I talk maybe 30% of the time, maybe 15% silence, and 55% of the time T is talking trying to explain why my stuff is not horrifying.

[tealBumblebee]

Most days - 53 % T vs. 47 % Me

If you don't feel like you are talking enough - i'd suggest telling T you have more to say. =] They will likely welcome it.

[critterlady]

It really varies for me. When I saw T on Monday, I was having a near-panic attack and he did most of the talking. Yesterday, I did most of the talking.

On average, I think it's very much like MKAC described - I talk some, there's some silence, and then there's a lot of him explaining how things could have been or even should have been and how distorted my sense of "normal" is.

[tooski]

Most of the time I talk about 70-80%. I'm usually telling him stuff, like what's going on in my life, or a dream. Then he'll respond with an opinion, or ask questions, etc. He likes to pontificate sometimes, and go into teacher mode (he's also a post-graduate psych prof) but that doesn't happen too often. It's usually pretty balanced - I don't feel like either one of us is talking too much or too little.

As for silence = almost zero

[HealingTimes]

Depends on the session.
Sometimes i talk 15%, sometimes i talk 95%.

On average i'd sat its 50/50.

[anilam]

I think it varies greatly- some sessions I just don't feel like talking, some I just blurt out stg horrible and let my T take the lead. All ans all I do around 60%, I think.

It varies with how I am doing actually. When I am very depressed, I talk very little and it is probably 70-30ish. When I am stable, it is probably 50-50 or maybe 60-40 leaning towards him.

[tinyrabbit]

Normally I'd say it's 60/40 me/him. But if I dissociate, it's 95% him.

[MotownJohnny]

Overall, gotta go with about 60% me, 40% her.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

thanks for your answers. I noticed that some of you have 2 Ts. How come?

I always found this interesting because I think you can profit from both CBT and talk therapy in very different ways.

But many people say it´s not a good idea to have 2 Ts..

One is psychodynamic, the other cbt oriented. They know about each other, have spoken to each other on the phone and divided up responsibilities (most are still mine of course!)

psychodynamic T i have seen for a looooooooong time but he is now long distance for me. I have 2 issues that he just wasn't helping me with as much as I'd like but still very valuable to me. CBT T really covers those 2 issues (health management and a driving phobia)

[deepestwaters40]

It can depend on what's going on at the time and how much I'm able to open up that day. I think anywhere from 40 to 80%/me is around the range. She's always been good about listening when I'm letting things out and will talk more if needed.

Every now and then we'll end up having a session where it's like we are discussing things-I kind of like those sessions as it gives me a little break from the heavy stuff.

[SingDanceRunLife]

You know, I've never really thought about it.

I would say that I probably talk a bit more than she does, most of the time, but not always. It sort of depends on the day and my mood and the situation and what's being discussed.

[purplejell]

I don't like it when the therapist talks too much... it makes me feel like it's about them, or like I'm disappearing. Although I think some kinds of therapy (CBT, DBT) can be more teaching-based and then they talk more. I would say I talk 70% and she talks 30%. She is constantly responding, but in a few words, or sentences. Not a monologue. I would hate that.

[content30]

I'd say content 65 v T 35 %.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by purplejell

I don't like it when the therapist talks too much... it makes me feel like it's about them, or like I'm disappearing. .

They say, there's something to be learned from each therapist. Interesting, that you've tapped into this feeling.

I've sometimes, have needed to learn to assert more, and not be the quiet listener, by virtue of having therapy sessions, where I've felt my T was doing a lot more talking than myself. I've stayed put, and worked through this.

I talk most of the time, but t is also very chatty, which i like.

[deepestwaters40]

Originally Posted by purplejell

I don't like it when the therapist talks too much... it makes me feel like it's about them, or like I'm disappearing.

I couldn't agree more. They do call it "talk" therapy for a reason. We do the talking . I think being attuned to when or when not to talk is an important skill in a t. Sometimes I feel so messed up in my sessions it's already hard enough to get out my feelings. If my t kept talking when I needed to I would feel what I needed to say was no longer important. I'd probably want to give up and leave if it kept happening...I have enough problems to deal with than to make my t listen to me. It's completely counterproductive...or at least in my case I think it would be.