[Tarra]

I've got a job and am moving to a new city. This is great news in all ways except one: I have to leave my brilliant therapist So, any advice on how to find and choose a good one would be appreciated (I've never done this before, my current T was recommended by someone).

I've recovered a lot in the last year, and I think the main things to work on now are accepting emotions, pervasive shame, perfectionism, people-pleasing, attachment, stuff in childhood, relationships, stress and anxiety. My T says I don't really have a diagnosable disorder now, but agrees that working more on all this life pattern stuff could be worthwhile.

So what kind of T should I look for? What should I ask about and look for in the first session? Current T is CBT, he's suggested schema therapy, DBT,or CAT, with mindfullness too. I'd love to hear of anyone who's done those, or any other suggestions

(I'm in the UK, could do NHS or private.)

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Tarra

I've got a job and am moving to a new city. This is great news in all ways except one: I have to leave my brilliant therapist So, any advice on how to find and choose a good one would be appreciated (I've never done this before, my current T was recommended by someone).

I've recovered a lot in the last year, and I think the main things to work on now are accepting emotions, pervasive shame, perfectionism, people-pleasing, attachment, stuff in childhood, relationships, stress and anxiety. My T says I don't really have a diagnosable disorder now, but agrees that working more on all this life pattern stuff could be worthwhile.

So what kind of T should I look for? What should I ask about and look for in the first session? Current T is CBT, he's suggested schema therapy, DBT,or CAT, with mindfullness too. I'd love to hear of anyone who's done those, or any other suggestions

(I'm in the UK, could do NHS or private.)

Have you asked your T for a referral or suggestion of another T?

[Tarra]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

Have you asked your T for a referral or suggestion of another T?

He says that he doesn't know any therapists in the place I'm moving to (it's a few hours away).

[HealingTimes]

I would start by looking at the 'Find a Therapist' section of the BACP website: BACP Find a Therapist - Counselling and psychotherapy | It's good to talk

I liken it to job interviewing..which is essentially what it is. I'd get a list of 10 Ts in your local area, from the BACp website, and then go for a session with them all. Explain in that session what you need to work on and see if you find one that you gel with and that you feel you could work with.

Do you know what kind of modality you want to work with (CBT, DBT, Humanistic etc)?

[anilam]

Hm, always thought CBT is supposed to be short term...

Anyway, be prepared it may take a while. I went through 8 Ts till I found the one I liked. With some Ts I knew right away it's not going to work, sometimes I went for few sessions, then I saw my T on TV and thought this may work, looked him up online, read his papers/articles still liked how normal he seemed, so I gave him a call and luckily he could see me... I was really picky and am glad I was. Picking a T who works for you is vital. It doesn't mean others were bad Ts (some I think were but not all) they just weren't right for me.
Good luck.

[stopdog]

I would suggest interviewing several before deciding.

[Tarra]

Thanks guys.

HealingTimes, I'm not at all sure what modality to go for. I've had a lot of arguments with my therapist about CBT - sometimes I find it mechanistic, simplistic, not interested enough in the past, and too 'judgemental' (I find it very hard to accept my emotions, so find the 'alternative thought' thing problematic because it sometimes seems like just more self-criticism of my reactions). But sometimes I think maybe there were deeper reasons for my arguing, and CBT was just a convenient thing to complain about. I've certainly made huge progress, but I don't know whether it was partly thanks to CBT or simply due to the relationship with my therapist and the broader work we did.

[HealingTimes]

The first 2 Ts i saw were CBT Ts and i felt exactly the same as you. Deep down i always knew that i NEEDED to talk about my past and my dysfunctional family if i were ever to truly move to a better place emotionally.

i now see a humanistic/integrative T and i have been much better since that.