[GeorgiaGirl413]

your pdoc is dying. Just found out that she has metastatic breast cancer. She is still working. I heard it from one of her nurses. If she doesn't bring it up in session, should I? I am broken-hearted for her.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

your pdoc is dying. Just found out that she has metastatic breast cancer. She is still working. I heard it from one of her nurses. If she doesn't bring it up in session, should I? I am broken-hearted for her.

Is she for sure terminal? Perhaps she is undergoing treatment that you don't know about?

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

Is she for sure terminal? Perhaps she is undergoing treatment that you don't know about?

According to her nurse she is terminal. The cancer has spread to both lungs. She is getting some treatment but it is palliative. She wants to keep working as long as possible. Of course, the nurse could be wrong, but I doubt it. This topic even only came up because she and I were talking about people who tend to handle adversity with grace and poise.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

According to her nurse she is terminal. The cancer has spread to both lungs. She is getting some treatment but it is palliative. She wants to keep working as long as possible. Of course, the nurse could be wrong, but I doubt it. This topic even only came up because she and I were talking about people who tend to handle adversity with grace and poise.

Aww, this is so sad

[tooski]

This must be awful for you. I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation. I would really give it some thought. It sounds like she wants to keep her life as normal as possible for as long as she can. Also a good T knows that the session time should be focused on the client, not the T. So she might be uncomfortable discussing it during your session time. At the same time, it must be so distressing for you to hold this "secret" and not be able to express your feelings about it.

I'd suggest thinking about it and what feels right to you. Maybe you could send her a card, or give it to her at the end of a session and ask her to read it after you've left. That way you can express your feelings, and she can choose whether or not to bring it up in session. Whatever you decide, it's important that when she's gone that you don't have any regrets about what you should or shouldn't have done. Right now you still have choices.

[Perna]

I would not bring it up; it is your pdoc's illness and I think it was out of line for her nurse to tell you. I am sorry you are kind of stuck in the middle now, knowing something that may affect you but not from the person who it belongs to.

[anilam]

What kind of person would discuss this with her clients? Not her "secret" to tell.
If your pdoc wanted clients to know she would have told them herself.
Yes, I would bring it up- otherwise it would feel like I was lying to her. She also should know the nurse is talking with her clients about it. Very unprofessional.
And on the practical side- you two should be discussing your options- I know this sucks.
Are you two close? I was never close with my pdocs so I'd be sad to learn they are dying but I wouldn't be crushed.

[winter4me]

perna and anilam are both right. The nurse (and I am one) was out of line unless the pdoc gave her permission to talk about her illness to others. Since you now know, I would tell her (a note that tells her how you found out and that you are concerned about her would give her a chance to decide how to deal with the situation)

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by anilam

What kind of person would discuss this with her clients? Not her "secret" to tell.
If your pdoc wanted clients to know she would have told them herself.
Yes, I would bring it up- otherwise it would feel like I was lying to her. She also should know the nurse is talking with her clients about it. Very unprofessional.
And on the practical side- you two should be discussing your options- I know this sucks.
Are you two close? I was never close with my pdocs so I'd be sad to learn they are dying but I wouldn't be crushed.

Although I am not as close to her as if she were my T, I do like her a lot. This is not a "crushing" blow, but I guess it feels like I should say something "I've heard you were ill and just wanted you to know I am praying for you" something along that line. Or should I just say nothing unless she brings it up herself? I guess that was the real question.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by tooski

This must be awful for you. I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation. I would really give it some thought. It sounds like she wants to keep her life as normal as possible for as long as she can. Also a good T knows that the session time should be focused on the client, not the T. So she might be uncomfortable discussing it during your session time. At the same time, it must be so distressing for you to hold this "secret" and not be able to express your feelings about it.

I'd suggest thinking about it and what feels right to you. Maybe you could send her a card, or give it to her at the end of a session and ask her to read it after you've left. That way you can express your feelings, and she can choose whether or not to bring it up in session. Whatever you decide, it's important that when she's gone that you don't have any regrets about what you should or shouldn't have done. Right now you still have choices.

Thanks, I think that;s what I'll do.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so sorry to hear about this.