[IndestructibleGirl]

So I had a really, really bad night last night - I got so drunk at a club I have no memory, I lost my bag with EVERYTHING in it, and I lost every stitch of clothing (this isn't as strange as it sounds, it was a party for people on the fetish scene, so they're not going to be fazed by a naked girl, but this particular event is not meant to have nudity) that I had set out wearing. Woke up this morning in the spare room of people I only vaguely know, in somebody else's clothes, with no phone, no keys, no money, nothing except my scarf Friends told me I made a move on some guy whose girlfriend (they're polyamorous, but she just didn't like me) then tried to punch me in the face. I have no idea if I kissed my ex either. All in all, a really ****** night.

I felt awful and panicky and terrible when I managed to get home, and had no phone so I couldn't call any of my friends, so on an impulse I emailed my T and vented all that had gone on. It's not the email as such that's the victory, we use email quite a bit - but normally I'm too unsure to just go for it and write to her, normally I always text to check it's okay, apologize for sending it and making demands on her between appointments, and apologize again in the email itself. This was just...different. Something kind of clicked in, and I really believed that she wouldn't get mad or irritated by my emailing without asking first, and also that it really was okay to reach out and that I deserved to, despite my dumb behaviour last night. I wasn't looking for reassurance beforehand, I just simply believed I could depend on her. Especially after our last session, where she pointed out I need so much reassurance -it feels like a step in the right direction, of learning to trust in new ways.

I know it's probably a very tiny thing, but it actually feels like a big deal to me

I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time last night, but it's awesome that you reached out to your T like that. Well done. It's not a tiny thing at all!

[unaluna]

Um - good? You're too funny! ah, the good ol' days...