[Daeva]

Do you ever have those moments where emotions seem out of reach? Not that you can’t feel them just that you can’t express them. But they are lurking, prowling inside of you, and you begin to feel claustrophobic in your own body, as if the walls were closing in on you. You become a caged animal, the pressure is immense, like a compacter is crushing your spirit. The emotions are wild animals closing in on its prey, and you stand in the middle of the noise and chaos, shaking, barely standing, eyes wide in terror searching for an escape, a refuge. And so you go into fight or flight mode and you search for a safe harbor. This is how I feel many times, I search for a place to just be, the threats waiting outside but they can’t reach me in here. Often times the only places that are safe to me are my T’s and my Mentor’s office. I’ll go to my Mentor and ask if I can sit with him for a bit.

We won’t talk, at first. We’ll just sit in silence for a bit, the quiet will rest my soul. Not that I think it’s the office itself, it’s just being with him, he is a very calming, safe, accepting, warm presence, like a healing balm. If he wasn’t in that office that peaceful quiet wouldn’t exist. I sit with him, and those predators slink away. I unwind, my muscles relax, I breathe deeply and I sink into bliss. We’ll talk and he’ll ground me. He’s a lifeline when I can’t see my T. I walk out of the office, the predators don’t bother me, they stay away knowing my armor was just repaired and I was given new weapons. But they follow, unseen and unfelt by me, but I acknowledge there presence as they try to find new ways of getting to me. However I don’t worry because I know this feeling of calm and peace and tranquility won’t last forever, so instead of preparing, I just cherish it. I wouldn’t know how to prepare anyway, I much rather enjoy the good moments in life than worry about the next minute.

I sit and wonder sometimes, if it’s healthy to seek this out, this relief or if it can be troublesome when I no longer have him to run to, and then what shall I do? My T says she wants me to use the coping mechanisms she taught me, but she’s taught me none. The ones she’s taught me has made it easier for me to see the problem, however they don’t relieve the intense pressure and feelings. My friends say she just doesn’t get me, but that’s not it at all. I think sometimes she just doesn’t see me, and that’s okay, I don’t see everyone all the time either, even when they are with me24/7. My T only wants to see what I want to show her, she respects my privacy like that and I respect her immensely for it.

Is there a way to make a safe harbor for yourself, where it isn’t dependent on another human being?

[Daeva]

.....................any suggestions?

[granite1]

I have my craft room that I have filled with all the things that make me happy calm and it is a great calming place for me when I allow it to be . no one is allowed in this room but me it is my private space my safe space.it doesn't always work .sometimes things are just to much .but a lot of times it is good enough

[FeelingOpaque]

I don't think it's wrong at all to seek out that social interaction and to get some attention. I'm going to assume you often isolate yourself from others, so try to reach out to those that are close enough to grab and hold on to. You should find a hobby or something you can do to just relax and be free of mind. Drawing, writing, painting, cooking, whatever. Don't feel bad for needing people, you're a human, you're supposed to need people around you.

[Daeva]

Thanks for the feedback guys!

[Bill3]

Here is an idea:

A Safe Place: A Relaxation Technique | Nurves-Circuit Therapy with Eileen J. Dordek, LCSW

[Daeva]

Thanks so much!!!

[wotchermuggle]

This isn't going to be earth shattering, but there comes a point where you have to be responsible for you and get by on your own. Not completely alone, but on your own nonetheless.