Sometimes I bring something up and T laughs, and I wish she wouldn't.

Like for example, i mentioned how i used to cut. I said i did this for about a year and I stopped because it started hurting. She chuckled at that.

Maybe she thought it was meant as a joke?

IDK, it wasn't a joke. For me, SI didn't hurt when I was into it. The hurting meant that I no longer needed to SI.

That's what I wanted to convey to her.

[growlycat]

That does seem a little careless of her, but maybe she thought you were being ironic? If you said other smart, quirky things she may have placed your statement in that category, instead of recognizing the pain beneath it.

[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Sometimes I bring something up and T laughs, and I wish she wouldn't.

Like for example, i mentioned how i used to cut. I said i did this for about a year and I stopped because it started hurting. She chuckled at that.

Maybe she thought it was meant as a joke?

IDK, it wasn't a joke. For me, SI didn't hurt when I was into it. The hurting meant that I no longer needed to SI.

That's what I wanted to convey to her.

I have never felt like my T was laughing at me inappropriately. I have felt like she didn't realize how serious/sensitive some issues are for me. This is mostly my fault because I'm not very good at communicating my needs or my pain. It's difficult for me to reach out for help or accept what is offered.
I'm sorry that your T laughed and wasn't able to understand what you were trying to say. I think one part of the process is learning how to communicate with our Ts and I hope you are able to bring this up to her when you are ready. Maybe she laughed at the irony

Btw: I made a few jokes in session and emails and my T doesn't always laugh at them. Lol. I know she has a sense of humor so I'm guessing she forgets that I so to sometimes.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[anilam]

Would go with being ironic- she obviously didn't get that it was meant seriously (though I think she could have being a T and all).
I would bring it up and explain it to her.

No, I've never felt like my T's laugh was inappropriate. I tend to make what most ppl would consider highly inappropriate fun of myself and he does respond positively- laugh, smile, nod... for which I'm grateful. I like this coping mechanism, makes it easier for me to share.

[ThisWayOut]

My t has actually had that exact same response to that exact same disclosure. Weird. She then followed it with a statement about self-care being a part of my self injury. I think my t chuckled at the irony of that... and because I think I was nervously laughing when I told her. Maybe bringing up your thoughts on her reaction would be a good idea?

[Lamplighter]

Have to say that if I'd just read that one line about your stopping because it started hurting, I'd have thought you were being witty or as Growlycat and Anilam said, ironic, so perhaps that's what your T thought too? When you explained in this post what you actually meant, it made perfect sense to me, but I'd not have realized that for myself.

Were you able to explain to her what you actually meant? Or did her response shut you down? (I know if I were in your position I'd probably go all resentful and feel grossly misunderstood and that would made me defensive and shut down...)

My current T is big on laughing, and sometimes he roars with laughter when I'm thinking wtf???? This is not funny! The trouble is I use laughter a lot as a means of defence and staying on top of feelings (lots of ho ho hos mingled with stuff I say) and so my T probably unwittingly responds to that. Mostly I manage to tell him that it's not funny or that I'm pissed off with him seeming to make light of what I'm saying (it can be really intimidating) and he accepts that without getting defensive or trying to justify himself. But I can see how you would have felt bad at your T's response, I hope you can talk to her about it.

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

Were you able to explain to her what you actually meant? Or did her response shut you down? (I know if I were in your position I'd probably go all resentful and feel grossly misunderstood and that would made me defensive and shut down...)

I think I went on to explain that it just wasn't working for me. I explained that I wasn't getting the post-cutting euphoria either, and hoped that she would understand that I meant that the cutting just wasn't doing it for me anymore.

[caseygirl]

My T has never done that.

[IndestructibleGirl]

No I haven't had that experience, but I can see why you'd feel a bit misunderstood or frustrated. I definitely think your T thought you were cracking a wry joke.

I believe it's up to us to convey to anyone - not just our therapists - when something they say or do upsets us ... How can they know unless they're told?

If they are then dismissive of our feelings, then perhaps it's time to terminate our relationship with those people, & find ones that are a little more understanding, empathetic and compassionate about our issues & struggles.

[MusicLover79]

I've said that exact same thing to my t about self harming. He didn't laugh. He said he understood where I was coming from. I think you should talk to your t about it