I was watching the movie "mama". The uncles girlfriend is trying to comfort the youngest girl. She wrestles with her than begins to rub the child's hand than blows on it to warm her up after finding the child lying out in the Garden all night.
The child suddenly stops struggling as the 'new mum' blows her hand and than gently blows on her hand.

Why? Because she's been raised by a 'dead mother' and has never experienced warmth.

This is symbolic of my therapy. T is the 'warm, alive mother'. Who held me tight until I could begin to accept her warmth and not feel disloyal to the cold dead mother I had been raised by.

A wonderful scene.

[archipelago]

This issue affects me too. There is actually a really interesting essay on the "dead mother" and the difficulty that this presents. She is like a void so you can't even find her to mourn her. It's really awful.

Ah! Thank you. I shall look for that.

[archipelago]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Ah! Thank you. I shall look for that.

It's a tough read, but if you want me to explain it, I am willing.

Have you a link to it?

[archipelago]

No, it's not online I don't think. It's by Andre Green. Lots of people refer to it so a search might reveal something. I don't remember the exact title, but "dead mother" is in it for sure.

Ok, I've found it on Amazon. I shall order it. Thanks.