[skysblue]

So, none of us, I imagine, enter therapy because life is a completely joyous experience. We either feel some painful emotions or we have dysfunctional behavior or probably both.

When I began the therapy 3 years ago, the process made me think I was losing my mind. I now know that all of those buried and suppressed emotions were being released and I was overwhelmed. Man oh man, it was a tough period in my life. It almost felt like I should retreat back into my hole where I had erected lots of protection and concrete barriers to my feelings.

I'm glad I had some kind of instinct or feeling or whatever it was that kept me hanging on even though I saw no way through my emotions. I was grasping and trying so hard to understand but i could not. All my analytical prowess was almost useless in the face of strong emotions.

I'm not exactly sure how the brain changes. I've read enough books about the synapses and neurons, etc. and that we CAN change but it's a somewhat mysterious process.

All I can do is offer a testimonial that change IS possible. I see lots of posts here on PC in which people wonder the value of therapy or whether it can work or if they can change and I know from personal experience that 'magic' happens..

When I look back at my emotional state and how i was so full of fear and shame and anger and could not make sense of them or eradicate them, I am amazed.

People state that there is not a 'a-ha' moment but I know that's not true. It's not 'a-ha' in the sense that I FINALLY understand ('understanding' is easy cuz it's part of the rational mind which we have much more familiarity with), but it's more like a 'shift' in perception.

Now, I know it really doesn't happen suddenly. I believe that there is something going on in the brain while doing the inner work but that 'suddenly' we DO experience that new viewpoint.

My fears and my overwhelming self-disgust have subsided substantially and not by talking myself out of them. There is a real internal adjustment. It actually feels miraculous.

Sure, I still have issues and I still have work to do. But I also believe I am much better equipped to work through those issues - mostly because I have a therapist whom I trust and who has literally and figuratively saved my life.

So, I will remind you and remind myself that even in the dark of winter, Spring WILL bring butterflies and daffodils. We just need to hang in there.

I love my therapist and I love that I found her and I love that she has guided me so much. I am grateful

I actually had an 'a-ha' moment as a result of therapy. I was trying to start eating breakfast and trying to figure out why I always get nauseous when I try to eat in the morning. It was related to something that happened every weekend day during breakfast during my childhood. Not only was I able to realize the connection, I was also able to apply the coping and grounding skills my T has taught me, to settle myself down, remind myself that THAT isn't my life anymore, and I've been able to eat breakfast ever since. Sometimes it's little things, but it gives me hope for the future -- that I can continue to learn and make those connections and change as a result AND that I do not necessarily need my T right there to talk me through it. I can learn the skills and apply them myself with no help. [just like a BIG girl. lol]

[iGottaBme]

It is so good to hear your post. I am in the "therapy is making me crazy, I want to retreat" phrase. It is good to know that one can push through it and make it to the other side. Therapy heals through the relationship but also through changes in the brain.

I have been in long-term therapy with different therapists and have only experienced one aha moment and the revelation wasn't over something that was terribly important but oddly enough we seem to evaluate the effectiveness of therapy using the aha moment as one of the indications that therapy is working. In fact, it is a thousand subtle changes that seems to do the trick. Your post has been very uplifting.

[stopdog]

I am glad it is going well for you.

[tametc]

So, I will remind you and remind myself that even in the dark of winter, Spring WILL bring butterflies and daffodils. We just need to hang in there.

Had to respond to this, because butterflies and daffodils are two of my favorite things. Thank you for this.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I actually had an 'a-ha' moment as a result of therapy. I was trying to start eating breakfast and trying to figure out why I always get nauseous when I try to eat in the morning. It was related to something that happened every weekend day during breakfast during my childhood. Not only was I able to realize the connection, I was also able to apply the coping and grounding skills my T has taught me, to settle myself down, remind myself that THAT isn't my life anymore, and I've been able to eat breakfast ever since. Sometimes it's little things, but it gives me hope for the future -- that I can continue to learn and make those connections and change as a result AND that I do not necessarily need my T right there to talk me through it. I can learn the skills and apply them myself with no help. [just like a BIG girl. lol]

Yeah, I know - it's important to notice the 'little' things too although they're probably not that little.

Originally Posted by iGottaBme

It is so good to hear your post. I am in the "therapy is making me crazy, I want to retreat" phrase. It is good to know that one can push through it and make it to the other side. Therapy heals through the relationship but also through changes in the brain.

I have been in long-term therapy with different therapists and have only experienced one aha moment and the revelation wasn't over something that was terribly important but oddly enough we seem to evaluate the effectiveness of therapy using the aha moment as one of the indications that therapy is working. In fact, it is a thousand subtle changes that seems to do the trick. Your post has been very uplifting.

I DO believe we can change the brain. What has been frustrating for me is that there's not a clear 'method' or a clear 'road map'. Reading the book, " A General Theory of Love" helped a bit in showing how the brain changes. Also, "Attachment in Psychotherapy was a HUGE help when I was feeling so needy with my T.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am glad it is going well for you.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by tametc

So, I will remind you and remind myself that even in the dark of winter, Spring WILL bring butterflies and daffodils. We just need to hang in there.

Had to respond to this, because butterflies and daffodils are two of my favorite things. Thank you for this.

Yeah, I just planted bulbs last week for the first time in my life. My H always used to do that and I hope I did right so I get a lot of daffodils and tulips come Spring. A hummingbird was flitting around me while I was in the dirt. Cool

This is such an amazing post and exactly what I needed to hear to keep moving forward. Thank you SO much. I am bookmarking it so I can read it as many times as I want!

Even though it isnt winter where i am i am still happy to read things like this, thank you!

[Nightlight]

I've always believed that this is possible, even though I have my moments of doubt. I see glimpses of it, I think. I know my therapist thinks it's possible as well.

I think sometimes in online communities it's more often the people that really struggle who continue to find a lot of help and support in a forum like this, and it can give a skewed picture that suggests that therapy doesn't work very well at all.

I think it's so hard to see hope from the inside, but I really do believe that we have the power to make things a lot better than they are when we are desperately struggling. I don't think it always has to be like this. I really appreciate your post, because it's so nice to see it put to words like that.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

Even though it isnt winter where i am i am still happy to read things like this, thank you!

I guess we can sometimes feel the 'winter' of our soul no matter where we live and also the Springtime too.

Originally Posted by PumpkinEater

This is such an amazing post and exactly what I needed to hear to keep moving forward. Thank you SO much. I am bookmarking it so I can read it as many times as I want!

Ah, gee, thanks. I am thankful for all the help I received on PC when I began my therapy journey.

Originally Posted by Nightlight

I've always believed that this is possible, even though I have my moments of doubt. I see glimpses of it, I think. I know my therapist thinks it's possible as well.

I think sometimes in online communities it's more often the people that really struggle who continue to find a lot of help and support in a forum like this, and it can give a skewed picture that suggests that therapy doesn't work very well at all.

I think it's so hard to see hope from the inside, but I really do believe that we have the power to make things a lot better than they are when we are desperately struggling. I don't think it always has to be like this. I really appreciate your post, because it's so nice to see it put to words like that.

I hadn't been able to see how it was possible to get through my issues. I was desperate, confused and scared. I felt stupid and incapable. And I would get irritated when my T would say, "trust the process". LOL What the hey???? I still don't understand what the 'process' is but whatever it is, it can work. But, having a good therapist is essential, I believe.