[Daeva]

I just need some place to get this out while I work through it all.

Dear C

I am hurt, and in pain. I am full of sorrow, and the feelings of betrayal and abandonment sit deep within me. I loved you so much, and trusted you even more. You meant everything to me, you know how close we were. How could you rip that away from me without any warning? You were the closest thing I had to family, you lead me to believe you felt the same, you have confused me. You left me when I needed you most, cutting off our relationship forever. Now when I look at you all I can feel is shame. What was it that I did? Was I too needy for you? Did I burden and bother you too much with my problems? What did I do wrong, to make you suddenly out of the blue stop caring for me?

The blow came not only as a shock to me, but a slap in the face; you blind-sided me, were you trying to torture me? It’s working so well. I’m sorry for whatever it is I did, please don’t leave me all alone, I have never felt so alone in all my life. Don’t you care for me at all? You disposed of me so quick and easily I feel used, like I was an experiment, that I meant nothing at all to you. I always had poor judgment, was I so wrong about you? I thought you’d be the one to stay, to prove all the others in my life wrong; but you’ve made me feel even more worthless then they ever have. At least they never pretended to love me. How could you? I will never trust you again, or give that sort of trust to anyone ever again. I hope you get what you did, and if you don’t I hope to god you never do the same damage to someone else as you did to me. You can be so cold, I never thought you had it in you.

I hate you, I have so much anger towards you I don’t even want to see your face, yet I love you and hate myself as well. Look what you’ve done. I set myself up for this, but you shoved me over the edge knowing full well what you were doing. There’s no safety net, no nothing below, just sudden death. I’m watching our relationship die. I looked up to you so much, now even the thought of hearing your voice again sends physical pains throughout my body as my mind screams. I have shut down my feelings because of you, you don’t even know what you’ve done. What a shame. I can’t even cry, so go to hell *****.

[CantExplain]

Well, there's no mistaking how you feel.

((Daeva))

[Daeva]

[Yogix]

Daeva, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope writing that out gave you some sort of relief while you process everything.



Do you plan on sharing this with her?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Daeva]

I'm not aure yet, I'll probably re-write it and share it with her eventually.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry you were hurt in such a way. I hope writing helps with the pain and anger, if so keep writing. Don't hold it in.