I emailed T because I was confused about a feeling I was having. I asked T why when I think of my childhood and think about the care and love I didn't get I don't feel angry.
But when I replace that thought with what I get with you I feel angry at you, why?
She replied with this.......

Dear ******

I think you probably do have feelings of anger about your past experiences, but they are perhaps overlaid with a sense of hopelessness and resignation. You feel more hopeful about your relationship with me, so you don't have to hide your anger - and also you perhaps feel there is some point to feeling angry with me.

Love,
*****

which hit home. The feeling of anger I have toward her feels a hopeful anger.

[Leah123]

I can relate to this. The "it's no use" getting angry anymore sense I have about the past sometimes, even though I see and am working through how hurtful it was, is very different than the hopeful sense I have when T has "wronged me." I remember the angriest I've ever been at her, a couple weeks ago.

In my anger, I was not civil, but I was hopeful. "Step it up!!!" was the theme of my rant. I was critical, but it was definitely all the more passionate because I was desperately hopeful that she could be what I needed, rise to the challenge of helping me. (And she did!)

[someone321]

Thank you for your post! I would never think about it but it seems that your T could be right I also do not feel any anger when I think about my childhood while I am angry at my T when he says something else than I would like to hear... Hmmm...

[Littlemeinside]

I think I just had a " PC moment"

"I think you probably do have feelings of anger about your past experiences, but they are perhaps overlaid with a sense of hopelessness and resignation"

Thanks! I have been stuck with this issue for ages and never connected it with anger

[Daeva]

Oh wow that is really insightful! Thanks for sharing, I need to think on this. I'm so glad you had this moment with your T and letting yourself be open with your T.

[rockymtngal]

Yes, very insightful! Thank you so much for sharing! This explains a lot!