[Steph44]

Hello! Not sure if I should post this here, but it has to do with therapy and I love the support everyone gives to each other. Do I have sexual anorexia? Not sure... Never been in a long-term relationship(or any intimate relationship) due to attachment trauma and CSA. I was even struggling with whether I was attracted to men, women, both, or none, but I finally realized that the gender issue is not the issue; fear of intimacy is. I have done a lot of hard work in therapy(art therapy, dance therapy, support groups) am connected to a wonderful church, have both male and female friends, and have a good relationship with my parents. Should I just let it go and stop working so hard. This has been the "bane of my existence" even before I started therapy. I am truly looking for ideas, advice, etc... Thanks so much!

[Hoppery]

I'm no expert in this because I haven't experienced what you have and i'm going to be up front about that. Just so I can understand your situation a little better, does the therapy you are having help you with all of your issues? Or are you feeling like it isn't helping. Because if that is the case, maybe a different type of therapy will help? Working hard at your therapy is a good thing and by all means, don't give it up if it is helping you. In order to help you the best that I can, what are you looking for? What kind of help from us. Is it advice on if your therapy is helping you or advice on if you should stop working so hard on it? Or is it something different totally? And do you have any idea or clue on why you are feeling this way?

Originally Posted by Steph44

Hello! Not sure if I should post this here, but it has to do with therapy and I love the support everyone gives to each other. Do I have sexual anorexia? Not sure... Never been in a long-term relationship(or any intimate relationship) due to attachment trauma and CSA. I was even struggling with whether I was attracted to men, women, both, or none, but I finally realized that the gender issue is not the issue; fear of intimacy is. I have done a lot of hard work in therapy(art therapy, dance therapy, support groups) am connected to a wonderful church, have both male and female friends, and have a good relationship with my parents. Should I just let it go and stop working so hard. This has been the "bane of my existence" even before I started therapy. I am truly looking for ideas, advice, etc... Thanks so much!

[Asiablue]

It's really hard to say what you should do. What's you gut instinct on it? Are you happy where you are in your life or are you craving intimacy? Is it the fear of intimacy that stops you or do you just feel like you "should" have it in your life? Because there are no "should's"

[Steph44]

Thank you both for your replies. As you can see, only two of you responded which leads me to believe that I really am out there on my own with this issue. I feel like an outcast and don't think I will be posting on any of these forums anymore because most people, it seems to me, are able to enter into partner relationships. Except me. I might as well quit therapy altogether and just give up because I don't think there is anyone else out there in my situation. God must really hate me. Thanks again and take care.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Steph44

Thank you both for your replies. As you can see, only two of you responded which leads me to believe that I really am out there on my own with this issue. I feel like an outcast and don't think I will be posting on any of these forums anymore because most people, it seems to me, are able to enter into partner relationships. Except me. I might as well quit therapy altogether and just give up because I don't think there is anyone else out there in my situation. God must really hate me. Thanks again and take care.

I don't feel god must really hate you. If anything, I was once friends with a person who's spouse has what you describe as sexual anorexia.

Have you researched the web, for means to address this? Not certain, if therapy alone, will help you get to a place where you may desire to be, based upon your reaching out for help?

Sexual Anorexia

I am just sharing one link, from looking at ways to help.

Feeling intimately connected is worth it, if overcoming this, is what you desire. I don't feel you are not going to find others like yourself, here, it just may be that other forums, may bring out others. Plus, where though the postings are in real time, responses, and finding responders takes a little while longer. Keep searching around, and maybe, as well, since it is holiday time, once other's lives become more settled, you may find some more responses.

[stopdog]

Or you simply may be on the less pertinent forum for your issues. There is a sexual issue and identity forum here on psych central. Have you tried posting there?

[Willowleaf]

I think I am worried about responding the wrong way and making you feel worse. I think I can relate to some of what you're saying and for me personally I am discovering that I need to learn to care more about myself before I will be successful with another person. I also have a habit of trying too hard and need to just relax over relationships more. This is me, though and it might not be pertinent but I don't think God really hates you or anyone else. I just think you're having a really hard time with this right now and sound like you've had enough. Sending thoughts and hugs your way.

[Chopin99]

Steph, I really get how you feel. This is the final issue I need to work on in therapy. How to heal from the hurts of the past so I can truly connect intimately with my H and others. Have you dealt specifically with your fear of intimacy in therapy? I would encourage you to do so. It's what I'm planning to do so that I can be whole. I've done so much healing lately in other areas, I am (very tentatively) ready to take this last difficult step.

[unaluna]

Yeah - some of us call it the i-word.

[Steph44]

Thank you everyone - sorry it has taken me this long to get back to you. I am heading home after visiting family out of state and found out that my dog had to be put to sleep due to an undiagnosed disease that spread rapidly throughout her body. I will respond to everyone once I get to the airport - thank you again...