[Karrebear]

My next session isn't until the 22nd. Im super excited for it as its been two and a half months since the previous session. (I saw her for about 6 months before the break and I have to wonder if she even remembers me? Absurd?) Obviously, I feel I am nothing. Anyway...To keep me focused I have the temptation to email her and ask for a homework assignment. I think this would be a good starting point for the session and to keep me focused for the next week and a half. Yay, nay, opinions?

Also, a fear of mine with starting sessions again is not being able to explain to her what I'm feeling. I have a hard time explaining whats going on in my head and I feel that is a flaw. I can tell about a situation but when it comes to me telling how I feel about it or how it makes me feel, my mind goes blank. That is what made me take the break in the first place.

I want things to be different this time. How do I learn to explain myself? How do I get the words to come to me? Ive been struggling and I want to tell her that. Even though I am not sure why I have been struggling, I want to tell her my feelings surrounding it. Wanting to cry all the time (but i don't know why, dammit)

I am sure I don't make sense with any of this but does the homework things sound ok? Or should I just wait til I see her?

[Leah123]

Requesting homework is a wonderful idea, gives her a sense of your willingness which she should appreciate and gives you something to focus on rather than pre-session anxiety. I suggest starting writing about your feelings as you notice them: sometimes a moment of awareness will lead to the emotional floodgates opening, if not immediately, over time.

I struggle with that a lot as well and find writing and listening to resonant songs helps me a lot. Poetry and prose both help, but above all, it is feeling safe that lets me open up emotionally, so that might just be a work in progress for you with you T after such a long break.

[CantExplain]

How did it go, Karrebear?