Hi Everyone,

This is my first post on this forum, but I've been following the psychotherapy thread for a little while.

I've recently started therapy - so far 3 months once per week - and feel much worse now than before I started. When i entered therapy I had mild anxiety and depression. Over these two months I've developed a reliance on therapy and it feels like I am living from appointment to appointment. The anxiety and depression feel worse between appointments. My T is a very kind, warm man, and i am becoming quickly dependent on him. I keep wanting to quit and forget about all this, and I am afraid the dependency issue will get much worse if I keep going. I dont feel comfortable to discuss this with him yet. I have troublem opening up to begin with. It seems like many people on this forum have very complex relationships with their therapists, and reading about it makes me afraid and want to run!

Any words of wisdom?

Thank you

CK

Take this post and read it to your T....

Talk to him about your fears...

[wotchermuggle]

What you are experiencing is completely normal and something most everyone here has experienced.

Often things get worse before they get better.

Having someone you can depend on isn't a bad thing. It can be a scary thing, but also very healing.

We all go through that can't-think-about-anything-about therapy phase.

Seriously, it's completely normal.

[RTerroni]

Just give it time and you should be able to work things out.

[Asiablue]

Words of Wisdom? IT will get worse before it will get better.

All those feelings that you were cutting off and not acknowledging resulted in depression, cos either way, if you're feeling something, it will come out somehow. Now that you're realising some of it, beginning to talk to someone you can feel safe with it will quickly start to feel overwhelming and naturally you're going to feel very vulnerable and dependant for a while.

Try and relax into it and accept that this is how it's going to be for a while, therapy sucks on a major level but from it if you stick it out you can achieve great things!

[Willowleaf]

Yes this is all normal and as Asia said it will get worse before it gets better as you start to face things. Time helps and talking about this to your t who will be able to reassure you and help you.

[penguinh]

Is it necessarily a bad thing? I think it may be a positive thing because now it means you have someone to depend on and you don't have to keep all your burdens and emotions to yourself anymore. You have someone you can unload things to and becoming more dependent on them is a part of the process. You're not bottling up all your emotions anymore, you're letting it all out and maybe that's why it's getting worse.

Thank you all for the kind responses.

The vulnerability of therapy has been bleeding through ‘everyday life’ for me quite a bit, which has been difficult to deal with as well. I feel like since therapy, I have been walking around like a pathetic, needy victim (I know this is a terrible self-judgment). T and I have been working on exercises on dealing with negative emotions and judgments, so hoping to change the perception. It would be wonderful to develop a self-help foundation through these exercises, as opposed to looking for relief from the session itself. Ideally I do not want to be dependent on anyone except myself J

I know I need to stick with this, so thanks all.