[willowbrook]

When you've experienced abuse in therapy finding a decent and ethical Pdoc/T is kind of like walking out into your back yard and finding a Unicorn just randomly standing there. At first you kind of want to poke it with a stick, or at the very least sit and study it.



Several or so weeks later you'll probably reach the "OMG I think this new Pdoc/T might actually be the real deal" stage - at which point your brain will remind you of every bad thing that ever happened with your previous Therapist, naturally signalling the end of the world.





If you're anything like me at this point you may just find yourself internally doing something like this during session...



After a while you might end up heading in the opposite direction. No need for internalised, wide eyed paranoia, you've got this therapy thing in the bag! Say it enough times and you might even convince yourself it's true...



But of course all you're doing is putting on an act, because deep down you're still thinking this...



After a while you'll probably gradually come to realise that trust after previous therapy abuse is something that needs to be worked at, it doesn't always just happen, no matter how good your new Pdoc/T is...



Eventually, with a lot of hard work, and riding the mental rollercoaster, one day you'll wake up, go to a session, and realise "Hey, this person sitting in front of me is pretty damn awesome! And I trust them 100%'. This is the point where you really gift them your mind, because you know in your heart they're not going to damage it.

And that's a pretty damn amazing feeling!

[unaluna]

I love your avatar! I had that poster in college! Waterhouse.

[willowbrook]

Originally Posted by hankster

I love your avatar! I had that poster in college! Waterhouse.

Thanks, it was one of the forum avatar choices and I love the works of J.W Waterhouse so I thought it appropriate.

[Topiarysurvivor]

Made me laugh. Ironically, my current therapist was recommended to me by my my ex therapist. It took me a year to tell my current therapist about my long term relationship with the ex. Her reaction to the news was a good start - she basically gasped. For a while.

Excellent post, willowbrook! Thanks!

[willowbrook]

Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor

Made me laugh. Ironically, my current therapist was recommended to me by my my ex therapist. It took me a year to tell my current therapist about my long term relationship with the ex. Her reaction to the news was a good start - she basically gasped. For a while.

I've just recently opened up to my Pdoc about my abuse in previous therapy. First thing he asked was whether or not the Doctor involved was still registered. He was very relieved to hear he wasn't. He said therapists that prey on patients and groom them for sexual boundary violations were just the worst, definitely a lot of disapproval on his part for what had happened to me (directed at the previous Pdoc, not me, obviously). His reaction made me feel validated, and since then I've been able to open up to him more about trust issues I had with him when we first started out, and how that might still come up from time to time simply because I have a conditioned response to certain things - even though with my current Pdoc those things are perfectly innocent and I know he has 100% ethical and very clearly defined boundaries.

[Rosondo]

Haha, love it, I was in an awful mood with triggers from PTSD driving me insane all day, but this cheered me up.