[rep97]

So I got a new T and today was our second session. I feel like her approach is very different than the one other therapist I felt more comfortable with. My other therapist which I used to see in 2011/2012 used to sit and listen to me and I don't remember her writing on her notes, maybe occasionally.

This therapist continuously writes on her notes and I get to see her looking at me very rarely. So I feel all the time she is writing and not listening to me so I feel like repeating myself and excerbated. The other problem is that on the first session she let me talk and listened to me. Second session she kind of steered the conversation in the direction she wanted to and I hate that. I want to be in control of the conversation and I want to talk about what I want at my own pace and she should just be there to listen to me.

This is kind of a big problem since I feel like I am losing client-T contact and feel not heard. Should I change therapists or continue seeing her? I feel sort of comfortable with her but her approach is not working right at this time.

[unlockingsanity]

Have you talked to your T about this? I'd talk to them first and see if they respond to your request to engage with you more in session before I would abandon the therapy with the therapist.

[rep97]

Should I discuss it with her? I mean she looks like an assertive and stern lady lol. Also if I tell her that you continually throughout the sesssion take notes.. what if she says that is standard procedure.. then I will seem a little silly. But should I discuss it with her? I am kinda shy and not big on confrontations and stuff like this.. and do clients discuss this stuff with their T's?

[Elektra_]

first u need to realize: what do u want from therapy? a person just to listen?

[rep97]

Well she should be supportive not just listen. Just not take notes 50 minutes the entire session and then steer the conversation the way she wants. The other therapist I used to see would listen to me and not take notes and just listen and be supportive.

[Elektra_]

well u have the wrong definition of therapy. a T that only does that wont provoke any change in u , which is what ur supposed to be there for. u can just want someone to listen and be supportive but u need to tell her that. just know that with that kind of therapist u wont have much improvement. and no, she has every right to take the convo whatever, shes making the appoint productive instead of just listen to u and say amen.

ur only in the beginning so if i were u, i would think what u really want from therapy. as far of taking notes, u could tell her how it makes u feel but dont know if she would change caz it just might be the way she thinks is the best. my 1st t kept taking notes and i got used to it. tc

[sweepy62]

It's your Therapy you should be comfortable. If this makes you uncomfortable then you should speak to her. You should should just not get used to something and call it good if its bothering you, in my oppionio .

If my t were taking notes the whole session constanstantly I would have a problem because she or he is not actively listening . As far as veering the conversation , speak up about that as well it's early in therapy be assertive I'm sure you and your t can work it out.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by rep97

Well she should be supportive not just listen. Just not take notes 50 minutes the entire session and then steer the conversation the way she wants. The other therapist I used to see would listen to me and not take notes and just listen and be supportive.

She doesn't sound like the T you want. Is there anyone else?

[rep97]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

She doesn't sound like the T you want. Is there anyone else?

It is hard to find a therapist I connect with. I "kinda" connect with her but her approach is wrong. Also I went to see another therapist for a consultation session but I don't know maybe the topic of discussion made this other therapist tell me her skill set is not good enough for my needs and so I had to call this therapist. I have seen several therapists and I have severe ptsd so clicking with the right therapist is very hard for me and I am kinda tired and afraid there are no other therapists for me. Not to mention I pay her over 200 bucks and I am unemployed.

[sweepy62]

What are her credentials?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rep97]

On her card it says PhD, C. Psych, Registered Psychologist.

[shezbut]

When you look her up online, what does she specialize in? All T's specialize in certain arenas usually.

[growlycat]

GAH! I hate T's who take excessive notes! I had one of those T's and I felt like he didn't connect with me as a person. Just keep tabs on how you feel--maybe she isn't right for you.

[rep97]

Originally Posted by shezbut

When you look her up online, what does she specialize in? All T's specialize in certain arenas usually.

She specializes in a bunch of areas which includes trauma/ptsd and other related stuff. I have ptsd and I told her I have ptsd and how I get bored at home which she didn't kinda believe then she started lecturing me how to exercise and do stuff and how much time I have. I told her I can't even get out of the house because of my depression then she told me to do it anyway with thought blocking. She is not very supportive.. comes across as very stern and cold.

Many of us have therapists who always (or nearly always) wait for us to start the conversation and don't try to set the agenda for the session. My experience with my therapist, who is an extremely good T, is that he'll wait for me to start talking but then he'll help me along, ask questions, challenge me on points where he doesn't agree, and try to take the discussion to a deeper level than what I could do on my own. So it's a collaborative discussion, certainly not a matter of him deciding what we should talk about or steering the conversation, but also not just me talking and he listening and supporting me.

It's very common, I think, that a therapist takes a lot of notes during the first couple of sessions, when they don't know us at all and need to get all the practical details down.

What really raises a flag for me is that you see her as stern and cold. I don't think a therapist needs to be a warm and fuzzy teddybear (in fact I don't think that's a therapist's function at all) but they do have to display empathy and interest for the client.

[rep97]

I would raise the issue next time I see her and see how she responds... I hope it is just for the first couple sessions but if she says this is standard procedure then I have to re-consider my options unfortunately. It is as if I am giving an interview to a reporter.. she rarely looks up and I constantly think she is writing and not listening so I find myself repeating.

I also might wana talk about how I want to be in control of the conversation and go at my own pace but then if you have to tell a therapist that .. that is like teaching her how to do her job. This whole thing has upset me and I am more depressed than ever. I hate confrontations and situations like this with my aspergers etc. But it is not healthy to go on like this either as I am not getting much from the sessions.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by rep97

On her card it says PhD, C. Psych, Registered Psychologist.

yes thats what the new t Im gonna see is, thats expensive, if youre paying all that much in my oppinion you need to tell her what you want out of your therapy, even if it is a free service you still need to voice your oppinion.