"Break glass in case of emergency"

I originally posted this in PTSD Forum. Like to get more ideas or others experience .

I need ideas. Last week I had a severe emotional flashback with every intentions of ending my life. Long story short my therapist came through for me and was able to un-trigger me. I still feel like I crawled out of a horrific car wreck alive and last week still haunts me. While my head is clear I need to come up with an action plan, a step by step instructions in a sealed envelope to open when this happens again. Kind of like a "break glass in-case of emergency" kind of thing. When I am in the flashback I can barely breathe let alone think rationally. Perhaps something in that envelope to stop me in my tracks and to redirect my focus or get my feelings to change direction. Ideas?

I sent this idea to T:
I was thinking of a series of sealed envelopes with a short letter from My H and from you, if I had a real friend that new my situation that would be great but I don't, saying something supportive, the impact of my actions or something along those lines. Still would like a step by step plan. Perhaps reading the letters would be step one,if the is not working then a person to call. That is all the ideas I have for now.

He replied:

Hm? I like the creativity! Could you maybe consider a letter from yourself, too. That is: a letter from you when you are "feeling better." Yes, of course you would know what it says in advance...but still. If you are ever in a life-threatening emergency, I continue to hope that you will consider calling 911. I know you have not agreed with this in the past, but it is a wise option if the going gets too tough.

I would NEVER call 911.........the humiliation, reduced to shame, rights taken away......yes I would rather die.

You'd rather die than be treated for mental illness? Really?
There is no shame in getting the help you need.
(& If you don't want to call 911 you can always call a taxi to take you to the hospital. Less drama.)

My T once made me an mp3 of a relaxation exercise, with him as narrator. Maybe a recording of a grounding technique from T would work like the letter would?

I've had benign positional vertigo off and on - and one day I was on the way to work last year when the world started spinning , i was sweating profusely, and I started throwing up. I couldn't get anyone on the phone , so I called 911. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. The hospital doc diagnosed it as an attack of vertigo , but the follow up neurologist said a panic attack.

A couple of times I have felt the signs - which were definitely triggered by specific feelings and thoughts, and I've been able to talk myself through them. Reminding myself that it has happened before, that it was triggered by exactly the same thoughts and events, that my heart was checked out and was fine, and that the blankety blank neurologist was probably right and I just need to push through it .

I like the idea of the letter - mine would read - this happened before on feb. 15, and you went to the hospital in an ambulance. You felt like you were dying, and then like you wanted to, but you didn't die and don't want to. That time , and two times after, it started with not being able to find something important, which triggered memories of the way the ex t bullied you about keeping things neat and " in their place" . Are you still letting her bully you? Write the trigger down now so you can remember it. Then get a drink of water . Talk to the dogs if they are the only ones there! "

Actually, I'd probably better have the note on my ipad so I don't lose it.

I actually called 911 about my husband when I was afraid I wouldn't get to him fast enough. The paramedics were kind and gentle with him. He didn't lose any rights as he decided it was best to voluntarily admit himself to the hospital. He was not reduced to shame. Being able to access that help for him was truly life-saving.

If you cannot call for help from authorities, do you have a close friend, family member, clergy, someone you could ask to take you to the hospital for help? That might feel safer to you.

You can call a taxi to take you to the hospital as another option.

You do have options. What you have to resolve to do is actually see those options and implement them. At least keep 911 on you list as an option if the steps before it don't work for you. Keep your options open.