[RFS711]

I have fantasies of my therapist hurting me. Like pushing me down the stairs or another fantasy I have is her stabbing me in the heart/chest and then holding my hand while we cuddle in a corner and telling me it's ok while I'm bleeding. Should I tell her? I tell her everything now.

[HazelGirl]

Yes, there are probably good reasons for your fantasies. Your T can help you understand why you have them.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by RFS711

I have fantasies of my therapist hurting me. Like pushing me down the stairs or another fantasy I have is her stabbing me in the heart/chest and then holding my hand while we cuddle in a corner and telling me it's ok while I'm bleeding. Should I tell her? I tell her everything now.

Although much less so now, I did this all the time when I started therapy [ok, in truth, I did this all the time before I started therapy too, but I used other people like teachers I thought might be nice to me]. I think it was my way of giving myself comfort - but I had no experience and thus couldn't imagine someone just being nice to me. So I set them up to hurt me and then come rescue me.

I recently mentioned something about it to my T in passing, but she didn't comment, seem to think it was awful, or make me feel ashamed.

Good luck.

[withoutthelove_]

Have you had trusted adults in your life hurt you badly and then comfort you after, or are you worried about T hurting you or leaving you? Your dreams could be a reflection of that fear (or feeling) of being hurt. These dreams sound horrible, RFS.

[RFS711]

Originally Posted by withoutthelove_

Have you had trusted adults in your life hurt you badly and then comfort you after, or are you worried about T hurting you or leaving you? Your dreams could be a reflection of that fear (or feeling) of being hurt. These dreams sound horrible, RFS.

No nobody has hurt me. But I want to hurt myself. I'm not worried about her leaving me but if she did it would crush me. These are not dreams, they are more like day dreams or fantasies, like I wish she would do these things to me.