My Email:

FM,

I've been in a funky physical state, and have not been able to do much — actually anything. I hate being sick. I'm needing to say, "I love you," to you; to someone that cares; to someone that understands — my IAF. With hope one day you will be replaced. But at the moment, this little kid is now able to wake her mind for her next project, even though her body feels like crap.What gives?

I'm concerned about what this does to our friendship? Can we have a friendship? Am I being inappropriate? I don't think I am, but you may feel differently.

Xoxo,

GTGT

I've gotta get going.

Her response:

Don't think so hard. Just feel. Share your feelings. That's what friends are for.

Love you too.
FM

IAF = Internalized Attachment Figure

I've been sick and in bed all week and have not been willing to do anything. So today I sent my ex therapist an email. I did get a lot done as soon as I pushed the send button. I saw her last Sunday to thank her for something and drop some fruit off and then made a politically in correct joke. She smiled uncomfortably the first time. Then when I said jokingly to put it away before your next client she shrugged her shoulders. I feel I should apologize, even though she would not want me to. I didn't stay long because she was in between clients and I was coughing up a storm.

It turned out I had 2 calls from my Dad yesterday that I didn't see till after I sent email to FM. He has been calling every day I've been ill. He's trying to look after me. I always got loving care from my parents when I was physically sick as a kid.

But, today was the first time I feel I'm taking advantage of my ex therapist after the no phone calls, no email and no hug threads. She responded in less than 90 minutes, and then the little girl started to feel guilty.

I'm not sure what I'm wanting from this post.

Also am hesitant to post, because the messages I'm getting, 'You just don't get it GTGT." As soon as I figure out what I did last time. I will access the need for an apology.

GTGT

[Canyon]

GTGT, sorry you are feeling this way on top of being sick. Also sorry to hear that you feel hesitant to post. I totally understand that.

I just wanted to respond. I didn't want to see your post be relegated to the next page without you knowing that someone is listening. Hope you feel better.

Originally Posted by Canyon

GTGT, sorry you are feeling this way on top of being sick. Also sorry to hear that you feel hesitant to post. I totally understand that.

I just wanted to respond. I didn't want to see your post be relegated to the next page without you knowing that someone is listening. Hope you feel better.

Thanks for your responding, Canyon. I'm hoping to feel physically better today. Emotionally I'm holding my own.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry you were sick. It's nice that your father is so loving.
I'm sorry you felt like however you felt about your thread. I think a lot of people wish they had a t like you. She's unique as you probably know! Mine is a little like yours but still it's a fantasy because she has her boundaries. Don't apologize for your wonderful relationship with your t! I liked your email exchange. I hope you feel all better soon.

[CantExplain]

What a great exT!

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I'm sorry you were sick. It's nice that your father is so loving.
I'm sorry you felt like however you felt about your thread. I think a lot of people wish they had a t like you. She's unique as you probably know! Mine is a little like yours but still it's a fantasy because she has her boundaries. Don't apologize for your wonderful relationship with your t! I liked your email exchange. I hope you feel all better soon.

Thank you, Rainbow. I hope you and your family are back on course. I have been sending positive thoughts your way for your daughter and all those that love her and are involved in her care.

I feel sadness foe others, yet I also feel the change. The allegedly taboo therapy boundaries more people are willing to discuss them and request them if that is what they are wanting. And those that struggle we do acknowledge.

My concern in posting is not my fellow posters or readers as much as the big guns. I seem to always run into foul trouble, e.g. previous post. I'm suppose to officially request from my former university re admittance to finish my degree. Under or over the table the light is green, I just don't want to be in a position to be judged, especially, if struggle with a simple thing like PC mods. I hate fighting — of any kind.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

What a great exT!

Thanks CE. She has been wonderful to me. The neat thing is she has that reputation among her peers.

You also have a good therapist. I have also been following your journey. Your insight is amazing. Best wishes to you and your wife's continued recovery.