[tametc]

I finally made it to T last week after not being there since Dec. 6. It was a good session. Now, we are supposed to get bitterly cold weather again from now 'til at least Wednesday. I called and left a voicemail to cancel my appointment for tomorrow. I live more than an hour away, and part of my travel route is on county highways, so I'd be in a life-threatening situation if something happened with my car. I'm frustrated!

I've been feeling more and more depressed lately--a combination of the weather, the flu, not getting out of the apartment much, different situations that cause me to miss my former T even more intensely, and feeling pressured and overwhelmed to complete annual paperwork required to continue to qualify for rental assistance. Sorry for the whining.

I did clarify with my T last week about phone calls between sessions. I told her she was very abrupt on the phone, and sounded as if she couldn't wait to end the call. She explained that she tries to be very aware of how much time the call takes, because insurance doesn't cover phone calls, so anything over 10 minutes gets charged at the rate of $2.50 per minute. We had never discussed her fee arrangement, because things happened so quickly with my previous T's medical leave, so I didn't realize she charged for phone calls. My old T didn't, plus he allowed brief emails. She said she sometimes returns calls even when she doesn't have much time, because she wants to at least acknowledge that she got my voicemail, instead of me having to wait another day or two. We cleared that up, and talked about how we could make it work better.

I think another piece of the depression comes from the fact that the loss of my former therapist is feeling more permanent. I don't think he will ever be able to return to his practice, and I believe he's probably deteriorating more as time passes. My new T and I have talked about ambiguous loss, which just complicates grief even more.

I am remembering something a friend said long ago about healing and grieving, that it's like peeling an onion. There are layers, and as you continue to peel away the layers, you cry even more.

I think I am going to make some hot cocoa with marshmallows, and try to find something funny to watch on TV.

[Perna]

Good move with the hot cocoa, marshmallows and finding something funny on TV

Sorry you are having the frustrating winter syndrome. I use to hate winter and the worry of being able to get to T or not. I even had a bad dream about it long after I first terminated with T, that we were going to meet again, one time, but then it was cancelled because of the bad weather. . . We were able to cancel in person, standing behind a car, in the snow (while it was actively snowing) and she implied she was disappointed with me for seeing her again, that I had "failed". It was a dream/encounter that only seemed to take 2 minutes and I woke very sad and depressed and, since I was not seeing my T at the time, had terminated with her a year or so before, I could not talk to her about it!

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Originally Posted by tametc

I live more than an hour away, and part of my travel route is on county highways, so I'd be in a life-threatening situation if something happened with my car. I'm frustrated!

Isn't this quite a remote possibility? It's one thing if it's a blizzard and cold, or hazardous road conditions (like ice) plus cold, but to me, just cold would not stop me from driving anywhere. Especially if your car is in reasonably good shape, should something happen, roadside assistance would not have trouble getting to you. I don't know that I concur that cold temperatures alone mean that you have to cancel your appointment.

Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess

Isn't this quite a remote possibility? It's one thing if it's a blizzard and cold, or hazardous road conditions (like ice) plus cold, but to me, just cold would not stop me from driving anywhere. Especially if your car is in reasonably good shape, should something happen, roadside assistance would not have trouble getting to you. I don't know that I concur that cold temperatures alone mean that you have to cancel your appointment.

The US has been experiencing some really bad weather, there have been weather warnings even in places like Texas. Winter storms, freezing rain, black ice, etc, mean hundreds of accidents on the highways and overpasses.. seems it can get really treacherous.

I'd say Tametc is doing the sensible thing, tough as it must be right now.

It's tough that a phone session isn't more of a possibility in situations like this...

[tametc]

Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess

Isn't this quite a remote possibility? It's one thing if it's a blizzard and cold, or hazardous road conditions (like ice) plus cold, but to me, just cold would not stop me from driving anywhere. Especially if your car is in reasonably good shape, should something happen, roadside assistance would not have trouble getting to you. I don't know that I concur that cold temperatures alone mean that you have to cancel your appointment.

My car is a 1995 model, and I keep it in good repair. But, we are being asked by local emergency management to only travel if absolutely necessary, because we've had ice and snow with more to come. Now the winds are quite strong, and there is blowing and drifting snow. Both roadside assistance and emergency vehicles are being kept busy with accidents. I feel reasonably confident that my car would be OK, but there are other drivers that are beyond my control. Plus, there is black ice on the highways, which can't be seen until it's too late. Also, I have MS and am not as physically adept as I used to be, so I would be at risk of hyperthermia rather quickly. I'm not an anxious person, so wouldn't normally let weather deter me, but in this case I think it's probably best not to venture out.

[rainbow8]

They closed most of the schools in my area because of the weather tomorrow, and maybe Tuesday too, so I understand your dilemma. It just snows and then the temperature goes to below 0 wind chills, and then it repeats! I don't know if I will be able to see my T on Tuesday afternoon, though it's not so far and I should be okay. I hope her car starts and they have heat in the office. You never know in this weather! I'm sorry you have to miss your appointment tomorrow.

[tametc]

Originally Posted by tametc

Also, I have MS and am not as physically adept as I used to be, so I would be at risk of hyperthermia rather quickly.

Oops... meant to say hypothermia

[UnderRugSwept]

I just wanted to say I am sorry you are missing your appt! Sounds like you are making a wise choice though. hugs to you!!

[HealingTimes]

Does your T do phone sessions? Maybe ask if this is possible. I know on the few times I have had to cancel because of weather/road conditions, she was happy to give me a phone session if I asked.

[tametc]

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

Does your T do phone sessions? Maybe ask if this is possible. I know on the few times I have had to cancel because of weather/road conditions, she was happy to give me a phone session if I asked.

No, she doesn't. If insurance won't pay for it, she won't do it. And she knows I can't afford to pay her out of my pocket.

I might talk to my case manager about this. I have some flexibility with Medicaid because I receive long-term care services through my county due to my MS and other chronic conditions. I don't know if they can cover occasional phone sessions, but it never hurts to ask. If they OK it, maybe my T will do an occasional phone session.

I am glad I decided to cancel, though. The latest weather update said that we are supposed to have wind chills of 20 to 35 below zero during the day tomorrow, and 35 to 50 below tomorrow evening. My appointment is in the late afternoon, so I would be heading home in the dark, in brutally cold weather. Plus, there are warnings of near whiteout conditions in open and rural areas, which describes about 80% of the route I travel.

I think I will make a big pot of homemade chicken garlic soup. The soup-making process is always therapeutic for me.

At least my heat is included in my rent. Very thankful for that!

[unaluna]

I take the bus to my appts, i wouldnt chance my own car in these temps, just in case of getting stuck. And being an hour away like you are? I am two miles away and i wouldnt! The bus stops are about two blocks away at either end, with shelters, so i am lucky there. They keep showing on the news that high records of 60 degrees were set in like 1909 - i dont know what they're trying to tell us! Like about global warming. Right now it just feels like that Twilight Zone episode where even the paintings melted, it was so hot. But really it was cold!

[tametc]

Originally Posted by hankster

I take the bus to my appts, i wouldnt chance my own car in these temps, just in case of getting stuck. And being an hour away like you are? I am two miles away and i wouldnt! The bus stops are about two blocks away at either end, with shelters, so i am lucky there. They keep showing on the news that high records of 60 degrees were set in like 1909 - i dont know what they're trying to tell us! Like about global warming. Right now it just feels like that Twilight Zone episode where even the paintings melted, it was so hot. But really it was cold!

I remember that episode! Love the old Twilight Zones.

I used to take a bus to work when I lived in the city. One of the main transfer points was on the Capitol square, which is surrounded by lakes. OMG, it used to get so cold and windy there! Where I live now, we don't have public transportation. Just a small, rural city, surrounded by farmland. I actually have to travel 1 1/4 hours one-way to get to T. I don't really mind the trip, but it definitely makes a difference in this extreme weather!

I ended up sleeping for most of the day, as I'm still getting over having had the flu. But I needed to start my car and drive it a bit to warm it up, so went to the local grocery store and bought leeks for my chicken garlic soup. The store was out of them last week. So, tomorrow will be soup-making day. The rest of tonight is more beagle cuddling and hot cocoa drinking!

[Mactastic]

My T rescheduled to see me a few hours early in advance of today's storm. I'm so thankful. I think you definitely made the right decision to cancel your appointment today. You'd be kicking yourself if you got stranded on the side of the road alone somewhere. Keep warm and stay safe!